Signs Your Family Is Really Your Friends Too
They say your friends are the family you choose. Some people, if they had the choice, would choose their biological family (I don’t get it, personally) so that statement doesn’t resonate with them. Now for the rest of us who certainly love our families but wouldn’t necessarily choose to live up the street from them or bring them on vacation with us, we understand that it’s important to have another close-knit community outside your bloodline. Everybody craves that group of people who will be there for you no matter what—that group who will rally together to pick you up when you’re down and make sure you never feel alone during hard times. Your blood family is that group, but they can also come with their, um, particular personalities that you don’t always want around. Your friend-family is the perfect combination of characters you absolutely adore, and loyalty. Here are signs your friends really are your family.
You call each other out and it gets really real
You’ve told each other when you were running from your dreams, when you were repeating unhealthy relationship patterns, and when you were being narrow-minded and selfish. You love each other so much that you’re willing to correct one another, even in matters that are pretty heavy.
They come over unannounced and visa versa
Everyone in your friend group has a key to one another’s place. You stop by each other’s homes unannounced all of the time. You even stop by when your friends aren’t home and enjoy their cable TV or their groceries.
You assume you’ll be spending the holidays together
You’ve gotten beyond the point of asking if you’d like to spend the holidays together and just started asking what everyone would like to do for the holidays. You may even start an email thread about who is responsible for bringing what at Thanksgiving.
News travels fast
Everybody knows everything about everybody. This doesn’t happen out of a gossiping standpoint, but rather a caring one. You all believe it’s important that each person has every piece of information about each person. This way, you can all come together and help someone if they have a problem, and be ready with all pertinent knowledge.
You call during errands/traffic/time to kill
You’re never bored when you sit in traffic or wait in line at the grocery store because you can just call one of your buddies. You’re totally beyond wondering if your friend is calling for a specific reason. You know she isn’t—she’s just bored and wants some company. You can sit on the phone and describe what you’re each watching on TV for all you care.
You don’t even realize their weird habits
If somebody were to walk in and find you coloring your friend’s hair while she was on the toilet—like using the toilet—they’d be pretty shocked. But to you, these scenes are commonplace. You don’t think anything of it when your friend does naked jumping jacks to air-dry her vagina because she believes that’s best for it. You just talk to her about the weather while she’s at it.
New boyfriends are truly intimidated
New boyfriends quickly understand that your friend group is a force to be reckoned with. He can’t try to get anything past them and they’re not going to hand over their approval easily. In fact, new boyfriends have said your real parents are less intimidating than your friend group.
The text thread is out of control
You’ve had a text thread going for years. And somebody says something in it almost every 20 minutes. Every tiny piece of minutia from a friend’s day ends up in the thread. If you don’t keep up with the texts, you can miss days of information in an hour.
You’re awkward with other people
You’ve sort of forgotten that you can’t behave around most people the way you do around your friends. You can be too blunt with new people. You can carry out some of your weird habits, not realizing that they do, in fact, look weird to people who don’t know you. For this reason, you don’t really even like hanging out with people outside of your friend group—it takes too much effort.
You can hang for days and do nothing
You can all hang for days with no plan in mind. You just wander over to the taco truck when you’re hungry. If one person wants to nap, that’s fine, and they can just join when they wake up. Even though you’re not roommates, you live as if you are.
It’s really hard if someone moves away
If one person moves away, it sends the rest of the group into a serious depression. It’s more upsetting than having left your parents’ home for college. By the way, this type of drama ensues even if the person only moved one town over.
You actually get over fights
You can get into blow-out fights and truly get over them. Just like you do with family. Those fights don’t alter your connection forever. They don’t make you feel any less bonded. They’re just part of being family.
Your real family is jealous
Your real family has made comments about the fact that you seem more dedicated to your friends than them. You’ve missed your mom’s birthday party to be with your friend after a breakup. You’ve told all your friends about big news before telling your mother.
You compare your boyfriend’s love to their love
Your friends love for you is so amazing that very few people can compete with it. When you go on dates or start seeing someone casually, you always compare the guy’s affection for you to your friends’ affection for you. You often find yourself thinking, “I honestly have more fun with and feel more loved by my friends, so why am I wasting time with this joker?”
People ask if you ever go anywhere without them
Your family and romantic partners have had to ask this question, “Is it okay if, just this one time, your friends don’t come along to this pretty intimate event?” You don’t understand why your friends can’t come to the romantic weekend getaway your boyfriend planned for your five-year anniversary.