7 Reasons Women Stay in Unhealthy Relationships

November 6, 2011  |  
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Whether it’s your relationship, or a friends’ relationship that seems to be unhealthy, it’s important to know why the union has serious issues. Take a look at these 7 common reasons women tend to allow themselves to stay attached to a relationship, especially when it could be a lost cause to begin with.

Self-esteem Issues

Much too often, women define themselves by the man they are with.  Wrong.  If you are fragile enough to depend on another human being for your happiness, you have a deeper issue that will eventually force you to look inward.  Let’s not waste time, and start looking at your self in the mirror now.  Make a list of what you don’t like about yourself and what you are most afraid of.  Then make a column and find a solution to that specific issue.  For example, if you don’t like your physical appearance, and find yourself shoving ice cream scoop after ice cream scoop in your mouth late at night, make a resolution to sign up for the gym, or heck, vow to stop eating after 8pm.

Scared to be Single

If you are a serial dater, then you might just be jumping from man to man, or bed to bed,  because you are afraid of being alone.  If you have never had time to be single and explore who you are and what you truly want, you might not even know.  It is certainly not fair to you or your partner if you have never let yourself be alone and realize what qualities in a spouse will keep you happy for a lifetime.  When you are single, you see things in a different way and your tolerance for unhappiness with surely decrease.

Perceived Pressure

Whether it’s pressure from your family or that perfect couple you’ve been friends with forever, women too often jump into relationships because of outside influences. For some reason we view being single as a frightening public failure.  However, do you know what is more embarrassing?  Staying in a relationship that is so blatantly unhealthy that you are the pity princess of your friends.  You are the only one that can directly affect your happiness.  Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into a bad relationship because you don’t want to be alone.  Life is too short to waste one minute with a bad seed.

You are a “fixer” 

Basically you find a guy that’s a little rough around the edges, to put it nicely, and make it your mission to create a take-home-to-mom catch.  Chances are, if this bad boy isn’t treating you right from the start, no amount of love or “help” from you will change him.  A sad but true fact that’s better to learn earlier than later is that men don’t change.  Sure you can get him to start adding tomatoes to his salad, or convince him that your beloved canine is the cutest dog on the planet, but deep, engrained personality traits are not as easily transformed.  Sure, relationships are based on compromise, but you have to set your boundaries and limits, before you find yourself someone’s mother instead of lover.

Timing is not right

Sometimes women get so emotionally invested into a relationship, that leaving just doesn’t seem like an option.  You might be recovering from a pregnancy, grieving the death of a loved one, or some other serious matter has come into your life. Now is not the time for you to mentally handle a break up.  Give yourself time to grieve and read up on the steps that you will inevitably go through after experiencing such a hardship, and try to come out on the other side stronger than before.  Experiences are nothing but life’s little tests that teach us our limits and give clear realizations to make us more prepared in the future.

Money

Unfortunately, money does play a big role in our lives.  Our culture defines success by money and consequently pays more to men than women, even for the same jobs.  Although we have made large strides in eradicating the gap and eliminating the glass ceiling for women, there is still an undeniable divide.  Therefore, men are often the top breadwinner in the home and therefore control the home. Some women may not have enough education to even begin to find a job or a place to stay on their own.  In this case, it’s important to reach out to family and friends for added help or even a local shelter if the circumstances require.

Fear

Unfortunately, the reality is that some women are too afraid to leave their relationship for fear of their safety.  In this case it’s important to act fast and learn your options.  Shelters are great outlets that can assist and protect women from abusive situations.  Again, friends and family can be great outlets to use if you are living in fear.  Please refer to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at their website http://www.thehotline.org/ for more guidance and remember that you are worth living, and you deserve a full, happy life.

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