Offline Rules For Online Dating….The Etiquette for E-Love
It seems by now almost everyone has dabbled in online dating. After all, with social networking at an all time high, it’s one of the fastest, easiest and most recession proof ways to meet someone nowadays. If you’re disengaged from the club scene, tired of trying to get your flirt on at the gym and not running into Mr. Right in the produce section of your local market, then online dating may be for you.
But there ARE some guidelines to consider when looking to get virtually booed up, so here are some tips to online dating…
If you have a boyfriend, don’t say you’re single. If you’re a size 20, don’t say you’re a size 6. If you really want a cut buddy, don’t say you’re looking to settle down. And if you’re looking to settle down, don’t be afraid to say so for fear of scaring off non-committal men. Height, weight, occupation, children, living situation – none of that has to be revealed in your online profile upfront, but if you choose to include it, be truthful about it. And for the love of all things Holy, post a CURRENT photo of yourself – not one from high school or when you lost all that weight on Jenny Craig five years ago…but have since gained it all back. After all, the hope is that you two will eventually meet, so he WILL see that you are not in fact a size 6 or a Halle Berry doppelganger. Lying about who you are will only destroy any trust you try to build with a potential partner, and then you’re back to square one.
Beautiful. Smart. Funny. All of those adjectives are nice, but they’re also very common…and pretty boring. If I can write that, and you can write that, then how are we any different from one another? What sets you apart from the rest of the pretty, smart, funny women out there in the cyber dating pool? He will decide if you’re beautiful by your profile picture. Your subject-verb agreement will let him know how intelligent you are. And if you think you’re funny, it should come across in any anecdotal phrases you write in the essay portion of the profile. Don’t just tell us; show us how fly you are.
You might think you’re doing something by telling potential suitors that you love movies, sports, music and traveling. Who doesn’t? Be more specific. What is your favorite movie? Talk about your fantasy football team or who you think will win the World Series. What was the best concert you ever attended and what city would you most like to visit? Give the reasons why – step your game up! And be honest about what you like to do. Don’t say you dig sports or like to travel just to appear more interesting. If you have no idea what a touchdown is or really have no interest in visiting any place outside of the 5 blocks in your borough, then just be you and be honest about it.
Speaking of subject-verb agreement, make sure your grammar is on point. Write your profile in a Word document, proof-read it, spell check it and then let someone else eye-ball it to make sure you don’t sound like you just got your GED. Then cut and paste it onto the site. Some things to note: Type out full words, no text speak. The word “definitely” does NOT have an “a” in it. There is a difference between “their,” “there” and “they’re” and “your” and “you’re.” Learn them.
When a woman’s fed up, no one will want to date her…so if you’re depressed, lonely, bitter or just had a bad breakup, then you might want to wait a little while before you get back out on the dating scene. All of that negative energy will pour from your fingertips as you type in your profile that you’re sick of liars, cheaters and chronically unemployed men. We get it. But no one should feel attacked or turned off when reading your profile. Once you’re in a more positive, optimistic state of mind, you’ll have fun writing your profile…and men will have fun reading it.
So you’ve exchanged a few emails and traded a few phone calls with a guy you really like. He’s cute and funny, so you decide to meet. Great. Just make sure you meet in daylight, with plenty of witnesses and exit routes handy. First meetings should not take place in either of your homes, and if there is distance involved, make sure he travels to see you first – and stays with a friend or in a hotel. Sure he seems nice enough now, but he could turn out to be crazy, a stalker or Charlie Sheen. Exercise caution when making first acquaintance with anyone you meet online…otherwise you could turn up missing.
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