“Has he mentioned marriage at all yet? You have to ask him those important questions!”
“Mom, we started dating like two days ago.”
“And he still hasn’t put a ring on it yet? What’s he waiting for?”
I know y’all are lookin’ at my mama the same way I was lookin’ at my mama:
You’d think that my parents just rolled out of a time machine from the medieval era with their grotesquely ancient views of dating. And for the love of all things holy, do not tell my mother about Tinder – the very thought of us “whippersnappers” swiping right for sex would have her clutching her Bible, waving to the heavens to beseech the Lord to save us from the “floozies” who are ending the world as we know it.
My parents – Caribbean-born immigrants who, if they could, would lock their children up in a tower until they could marry ‘em off to some gallant knight in shining armor – simply can’t get with today’s dating world we live in. And for that reason, revealing my dating life to my folks would be catastrophic. Let me show you what I mean.
One day, a big-mouthed cousin of mine spilled the beans about my brand-spankin’ new relationship, and so my mother demanded that she meet him immediately.
“What kind of man thinks he could keep seeing my daughter without meeting her mother?” she wondered, truly puzzled over why this man wasn’t making any effort to develop a relationship her.
I just met this guy! Hell would freeze over and pigs would fly before I’d ask a man to meet my parents too early in the relationship. They must be out of their damn minds.
But in my parent’s eyes, I was out of mine. “If he’s serious, he wouldn’t mind, would he?!”
When I tried to explain to her that we both needed time to truly know each other before even thinking about taking that next big step, my mother cut me off and said, “Bull! When a man loves you, he’ll know right away!”
Not that I didn’t agree with that, but what my mother doesn’t understand is that although in your heart of hearts you know you could see yourself with someone forever, you can’t go blurting that out the first chance you get! You’ll look crazy! What’s so hard about grasping that not everyone takes kindly to hearing, “I want to marry you” after just meeting someone about a week ago.
(I know ya’ll were thinking it.)
Anyway, I guess back in her day, dropping the L-word (love) and M-word (marriage) all willy nilly was normal.
Not in 2017!
At the risk of my parents pressuring me and my new love interest to rashly rush down the aisle like two mindless morons, my parents don’t need to know a damn thing about any of my romantic relationships. Nope! I refuse to mention anything to them because their fuddy-duddy, conservative mindsets would do nothing but be a meddlesome strain on both my partner and myself.
I won’t reveal my partner to my folks until we’re absolutely, positively ready to tie the knot. “Surprise mom and dad! I’m engaged!”
How about you? Do you have parents who are way too conservative to discuss comfortably your romantic life?
Kimberly Gedeon, founder of The Melody of Melanin, is a content creator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online about everything from beauty and business to politics and pop culture. You can say hello to her on Instagram or Twitter – she doesn’t bite!
