“Are Your Insides Pink Or Brown?” Black Women Share Interracial Dating Horror Stories
There are things about dating outside one’s race that run deeper than allegations of disloyalty and a few nasty looks when you walk down the street together. On top of the unavoidably awkward dynamics of a new romance comes unfamiliarity with the other person’s culture that often manifests itself as pure ignorance. And while some gaffes can be overlooked and corrected with education, others are too painful to ignore or get past.
Black women talked to Vice about all of the above in a piece by Janae Price who shared, “While dating men of different races, I’ve found myself in some frustrating, awkward, unfortunate, and uncomfortable situations. From being pet like a dog (‘black people’s hair feels so cool and different!’), to dealing with basic questions of physiology (‘Are your insides pink or brown?’), I’ve been on some ridiculous dates. ”
Knowing she’s not alone, Price compiled “cringe-worthy stories” from Black and brown women who’ve dated men outside their race which she said serves as a “sad reminder that even though celebrities like Robert Pattinson and FKA Twigs might make it look easy, this sh-t is still hard as hell.”
Here are a few of those tales.
•I dated a Vietnamese man who used to tell me my nipples looked like Hershey’s Kisses. And that wasn’t the worst part. His parents hated me—they didn’t like the fact that I was not Asian. Every time I would visit, they would smile and wave, and right in front of my face talk shit in Vietnamese about how I wasn’t good enough for their son because I’m black, which he’d later translate for me. Eventually, I decided to break up with him, but every time I tried to he’d tell me not to take what his parents said to heart because they were old and traditional. But that always made me question how he felt: Just because you have accepted their behavior, does that mean some part of you feels that way too? – Lauren, 29
•I dated this mixed girl who was raised by her white mother and the white side of her family. She had curly hair. One time I too described my hair as “curly,” and she corrected me. “You mean your nigga naps,” she said. I asked if she even knew what a “nap” was, and she quickly replied “black people hair.” I asked her how she’d describe her own locks, and she said “good hair.” I nearly lost it. – Alexis, 23
•I once dated a guy who was half Dominican and half Puerto Rican. Things were going well, so he suggested I meet both his parents. His mother was pleasant and welcoming. She was interested in my family and the fact that they weren’t originally from the US. She wanted to know things about Guyanese marriage and wedding traditions, dating customs, and mused about what it would be like to have mixed children. When his Dominican father came home, he didn’t say much. He asked what I wanted to do when I got older but barely said two words during dinner. The room became very tense, and I noticed my boyfriend get a little uneasy. His father broke the silence: “I know you think you’re dating my son, but this is going to stop now… my son does not, and simply cannot, date a ‘Negra.'” My boyfriend was in complete shock; he didn’t say a word. His mother began cursing at his father and began to frantically apologize to me. I didn’t know what to do. So I grabbed my bag, thanked her for the meal, told my boyfriend we were done, and walked out. On the walk home, I called my brother and cried. – Nandee, 23
•I had been talking with this guy for a little bit, but decided to call it off after a bout of sexy texting ending with him sending me a diagram of a girl tied up in some kinky bondage harness. Caught off guard, I asked what it was supposed to mean. He texted back, “I’ve always wanted to try this on a black girl, I think it would be so hot.” Needless to say, his number was deleted with quickness. – Kim, 23