Life Tutorials We All Wish Existed
There are a lot of YouTube tutorials for things like how to do the perfect smokey eye, how to contour and how to make your crows feet disappear. The tutorials even expand beyond the makeup world, of course, to how to fix a sink and how to detangle a pile of necklaces. Wouldn’t it be nice if tutorials existed for some of life’s stickier situations? Some circumstances arise for which you really wish you had someone walking you through each step, so you didn’t create a total disaster. Considering how common many of these scenarios are, shouldn’t there be a simple how-to guide? And shouldn’t we get points for using it? Here are life tutorials we all wish existed.
How to plan a wedding without pissing anyone off
It seems impossible to throw a wedding without pissing somebody off. If someone isn’t upset about where they were sat, or the fact that they weren’t invited, or the fact they weren’t made part of the bridal party, or the fact that you went over-budget, then it really wasn’t a wedding, was it? A step-by-step guide on wedding-planning diplomacy that told you how to plan the big day while leaving the least damage in your wake sure would be helpful.
When is it a relationship?
No matter your age, if you are single and dating, you never quite know when you’re allowed to call someone your boyfriend, when you can tell your parents you’re seeing someone without getting their hopes too high, and when you should stop accepting dates with other men. Can’t there just be some universal signs like, when a man wears two different color socks, he’s telling you you’re officially monogamous?
What to do when your BF’s spouse is inappropriate
We all eventually have the misfortune of discovering that a good friend’s significant other is, well, a garbage human. We either see him blatantly cheating on our friend, or we hear him be verbally abusive to in a terrifying way, or we even have him flirt with us. But how you handle the situation depends on each individual friendship. Depending on your history with that friend, your friend’s insecurities and much more, you may or may not be able to say something. If only there was some handbook that told us how to approach the topic, without blowing up our friendships.
Couples counseling is expensive! Can’t there just be a series of tutorials that walk you through common issues, like how to communicate better, how to prioritize one another more, how to identify when you drifted apart, how to get the spark back and so on. Maybe you could take an online test that would give you undeniable answers to questions like, “Is this worth fighting for?”
When the proposal is overdue
The proposal, the request to move in together, or whatever that next step is for your relationship—just because you think it’s time doesn’t mean you feel comfortable bringing it up. You may also second-guess your timeline. Maybe, due to your own personal issues, you want to rush things. Or take things too slowly. If only some little online guru could tell you the exact right time, for your specific relationship, to bring up the next step without rushing things or frightening your partner.
How to handle friends in pyramid schemes
Nobody knows what to do when their friend calls them, all cheery and chatty, and ropes them into a question like, “Would you be willing to host a little sample party at your apartment with you and all your friends to try this line of hair removal wax?” How do you tell your friend you don’t want to do this, without sounding like you don’t support her? Also, how do you tell your friend she is being duped by this company?
What to do when your friend has an addiction
Your friend is supposed to be your peer, your equal—your compadre! Things become a bit awkward when you feel you have to be more of a caretaker than a friend to your friend. Like when your friend clearly develops a drinking problem and does things she regrets each time she drinks, like binge eat, buy things she shouldn’t, or sleep with random men. When a friend is in the thick of an addiction, and you point it out, she often won’t see you as helpful—she’ll see you as judgmental and a buzz-kill. Can someone walk us through how to handle this dangerous situation, without pushing our friend away?
Handling an inappropriate coworker
Men who subtly harass you are even worse than the ones who blatantly do it. At least it’s easy to accuse the men who grab your butt in the workplace. But then there are the men who fly just under the sexual harassment radar, giving you no actual evidence to work with. They know they’re doing this, too. If you talk to them about it, they’ll call you prude or stuck up, and harass you even further. If you talk to HR about it, you could become the girl who cried wolf, because you don’t have hard evidence in the form of a text or security footage.
How to get your partner to care about his health
Men seem to think that so long as nothing hurts, they don’t need to go to the doctor. That logic is, of course, dangerously incorrect. If you’re at the point where something hurts, you could already be in the advanced stages of a condition. Meanwhile, going in for regular physicals can help your doctor detect conditions through things like blood work and stethoscopes before those conditions cause any noticeable symptoms. So exactly how do we get our partners to get on board with that plan?
How to respond to a catcall
Being catcalled, as a woman, makes your blood boil. It’s one of the most cowardice and offensive things a man can do. The man just lobs an objectifying statement out at you, leaving you with people staring at you, pitying you. Sometimes, he is in a car, and just drives off, so he doesn’t even have to face your reply. If someone could tell us exactly how to get back at these guys so they’re so terrified they never even roll down their window near a woman again, that would be great.
So, what’s real about nutrition these days?
Trying to track down the most accurate and up-to-date information on nutrition today feels impossible. There can be hundreds of studies about the same topic, some stating one thing, and some stating another. But tracing exactly when the research was done, and whether or not it has contended with the other information out there, is impossible. If I wanted to, I could find equally convincing information that I should, and shouldn’t, drink red wine. It would be so nice if somebody could confirm the most concrete, up-to-date and comprehensive research on hot nutrition topics.
How do you console a grieving friend?
When your friend is grieving over the loss of a family member or even a divorce, it can be very difficult to know when to step in and help, and when to back off. Sometimes, when you think you’re helping by encouraging your friend to get out and socialize, your friend can feel you’re being insensitive to their need to grieve. If you mention what your friend is going through, she may say she doesn’t want to talk about it. If you don’t mention it, she may think it’s insensitive you haven’t asked about it. Help!
How to get along with your parents
So many of us deal with the frustrating and sad reality that we don’t get along with our parents. On major issues, we simply do not see eye to eye. We attempt to discuss these things with our parents, but that always ends in yelling matches, and somebody going home early. But if we don’t discuss these matters, the relationship can feel strained too—like we only talk about superficial topics, to get along. Can someone please tell the many of us who fight with our families, how do we stay close, without driving each other insane?
How to get someone back, without a restraining order
There will come a time when you want an ex back. When you’re certain that you screwed up, and you can do better. When you know if you got one more chance, this person could be the one. Of course, communicating that to that person, when they won’t take your calls, can be hard to do. It can be especially hard to walk the line between making romantic gestures, and simply stalking somebody. Could someone please draw that line, clearly? Thank you.
How to negotiate
In life, you’ll need to negotiate with wedding planners, mechanics, car salespeople and even doctors! Of course, the nature of your relationship with each of these professionals is very different (for example, you don’t talk to your wedding planner the same way you do your plumber). So how do you negotiate in all of these situations, such that you are heard and respected, but don’t make the other person feel underappreciated?