What Happens When You Stop Dating Your Type
If you often find yourself saying things like, “He’s not my type,” “He’s just my type,” or “I don’t date that type of guy” then you are, unfortunately, probably pretty far from finding that special someone. The truth is there is no such thing as a type. Every person out there is a bundle of diverse and complex qualities. You may think someone is a “type” but that’s because you are only seeing one side of their personality. In fact, the traits you think may come along with your perceived type may not even be there at all. Maybe you always date businessmen because you believe they are ambitious, responsible and intelligent. But honestly, there are business men who are those things, and businessmen who aren’t. Your type is deceiving and limiting, so stop chasing it. Here is what happens when you stop dating your type.
You’ll meet other professions
Your type probably falls into a type of work. Maybe, for example, you always date artists. You may not seek out artists, but you seek out an aesthetic or a personality trait that tends to go hand in hand with an artist. Either way, you only know what it’s like to date that profession. When you stop dating your type, you’ll start dating within every profession, which is very entertaining, enlightening and eye-opening.
The world will open up
Remember all those bars you used to walk into and say, “Ugh. There are no cute guys here?” Suddenly, they will be brimming with possibilities. Most places you go will be brimming with possibilities! You no longer only talk to guys whom you meet within this particular cross street of trendy bars. The world is your man oyster. Or something like that.
You realize you’ve been judgmental
You start to realize you’ve been a bit judgmental. In addition to having a type, you’ve also had anti-types—these are men you stayed away from because you assumed they were all a certain way. Once you give them a chance, you realize you were wrong about most of them and you feel bad.
You realize you were somebody’s type
When you stop dating your type you may come to the shocking conclusion that you are somebody’s type (gasp!) Some of the new men you try to date may not be as receptive to you as you thought. Maybe you aren’t their type! And there you were, all along believing the only thing stopping you from dating certain men was your lack of desire to date them. Rather big-headed of you, don’t you think?
You notice what was wrong with your type
The flaws in your type start to stand out loud and clear. You never had the chance to see them as flaws because every guy you dated had similar flaws. But now you’re dating men who thrive in the areas your type flails around in, and you can really see the downfall in your previous type.
You understand your type better
You also start to clearly identify what it is you liked so much about your type. And you start to see how those traits are easily found outside your type, too. For example, if you only liked men who have been to graduate school because they tend to be well-cultured, you’ll start to see that plenty of men—post-grad or not—can be well-cultured.
You understand yourself better
By leaving your type behind, you understand your type better, why you liked them, why you didn’t like them, and what that says about you. Often, when we hone in on and seek out a type, it’s because that type has personality traits that we ourselves aspire to have or worry we don’t have.
People can finally set you up
Your friends can finally set you up with the great matches they’ve had in mind for you! You will no longer turn your nose up at the cuties they have lined up for you because they “aren’t your type.” And hey, your friends probably know who is best for you better than you know.
You notice someone was there all along
When you finally take off the blindfold that is the desire for a type, you may realize somebody great has been in front of you all along. This could be a friend or a coworker or a neighbor.
Your dating locations will change
Types of men tend to like the same types of date spots. So maybe you can say goodbye to breweries and gastropubs. Maybe there will now be picnics, museums, bike rides and petting zoos in your future.
You won’t have expectations
You always expected and hoped for a certain type of behavior from your type—that’s why you dated him, after all. If he didn’t fit that mold perfectly, you’d quickly become disappointed. You couldn’t see who he was—only that he wasn’t your type, after all. Now, you can go into dates without expectations and without projecting any desires onto your date. You can see men for who they really are.
You’ll date some duds
Well, yeah—that’s bound to happen. If you’re going to have an “all are welcome” mentality, you’re going to let a few duds in at first. It’s okay; you’re rebuilding a whole new filter and that takes some time.
You’ll see how limiting your type was
With a little distance from your type, you may start to see just how limiting it was. You may only now realize that the type you looked for happened to mostly exist within a particular age group, an ethnicity, a body type…you name it.
You understand your exes better
You will start to see how problematic it has been that you kept going after your type. You’ll start to realize that all of your past relationships had all of the same problems because you kept going after your type.