Good Marriage Habits To Develop Early
You know that habits take time to build up in every area of life. Learning to wake up a little earlier so you could work out took time. Learning not to engage in your coworker’s passive-aggressive comments was a bit of a challenge, but you finally got a handle on it. And choosing fruit for dessert instead of ice cream wasn’t a habit that formed over night. So it should be no surprise that developing habits in something as important as your marriage requires a little time, too. The earlier you begin practicing certain behaviors, the more of a chance your marriage has to be defined by healthy habits rather than unhealthy ones. Because if you don’t nip unhealthy ones in the bud early, they can be too difficult to break later—when things are already on the rocks. Here are healthy marriage habits to develop early.
Say hi and bye properly
Stop what you’re doing, put down the toothbrush, close the laptop and give your hubby a proper hug and kiss hello or goodbye. It’s what separates spouses from roommates.
Be happy to help your partner
Don’t roll your eyes or say, “Ugh. Fine” when your partner asks you to bring them a glass of water or pick up their prescription on your way home. Be happy you have someone you can help, who helps you out, too.
Touch each other as much as you can
Too many couples allow physical affection to just disintegrate over the years. But physical touch is an important part of keeping your chemical bond alive. Never stop holding hands, sitting on the same side of the booth, or snuggling during movie night.
Recognize when they cannot talk about it
Learn to recognize when your partner is still too emotional about an event or new information to talk about it. Do not push him to talk then; that will only result in him saying things he doesn’t mean.
Accept what you can’t change
Learn to spot which little aggravating behaviors or arguments keep coming up. If they keep coming up, there is a good chance it’s because you can’t change them. Life will be easier if you accept that, and just go have a cup of tea or go for a walk when they happen.
See a win for him as a win for you
Life gets so much better when you truly see a win for your partner as a win for you, and visa versa. You’re a team! And as a team, you’ll accomplish much more than you would as individuals. Truly celebrate it when your partner has something good happen to him as if it’s your own victory.
Ask; don’t accuse
Phrase things like, “Honey, did you leave this food in the sink?” rather than, “You left stuff in the sink again didn’t you!”
Resist paranoid thoughts
Thoughts like, “He doesn’t think I’m pretty anymore” or “He talks badly about me to his friends” or “He is attracted to his co-worker.” These thoughts are never productive.
Welcome a full house
Embrace having a full house because, between the two of you, there will probably be an old college friend or a cousin or a parent visiting at least once a month. If you start to keep tabs on who has more guests, you could blow your chance at having your good friend visit. So just embrace visitors.
Ask, “Will this matter in a year?”
It’s safe to say that 90 percent of marital arguments will not matter in a year. The only arguments that matter are those that pertain to your core values and goals in life. How often can you say you really argue about those? Rarely. You mostly argue about hanging up towels properly.
Never chastising in public
If your partner does something you don’t like, don’t chastise him in front of other people. This makes him feel like he isn’t safe with you and that you aren’t on his team.
Saying, “I love you” a lot
There’s no such thing as saying it too often. And saying it a lot is a part of subconsciously keeping you two connected and excited about each other. Throwing an “I love you” into the mundane conversations about groceries keeps you from becoming roommates.
Fully accepting apologies
If your partner apologizes and you say you accept his apology then that particular dispute has to be over. If you bring it up again or continue to punish your partner, then he will feel like isn’t apologies aren’t appreciated.
Not dwelling on the day
Whatever happened today with work or friends or family, vent about it for ten or fifteen minutes and then let it go. Dive into making dinner together or sharing funny stories. Remember that having each other at the end of the day is a gift; don’t squander it by dwelling on the day.
Living below your means
Agree as a couple to live below your means. Agree on what things you’d like to save money for, and what things you’re willing to spend money on. And then, honor those agreements.
Nurture relationships with his family
You and your partner will forever feel more connected if you have relationships with his family members. When he vents about them, you’ll know exactly what he’s talking about and when he raves about them, you’ll also know exactly what he’s talking about.
Don’t over-schedule one another
Don’t be a stickler about having your partner accompany you to every single friend’s birthday party or every single office party. Sympathize with the fact that he’s very busy, and could use some nights off. So only bring him to the truly important things you want to share together.
Don’t complain to your friends (too much)
You’re bound to vent to your friend’s about your husband’s habits sometimes, but don’t make a habit of it. It’s important that your circle of friends sees you and your spouse as united.
Always have an adventure on the books
Always have a new adventure, weekend getaway, trip, hike, outing or exciting experience on the calendar. These are the experiences that keep you connected and remind you how much you mean to each other.
Always surprise each other
Never stop planning little surprises for him, popping in at his work with lunch, picking up his favorite candy from the store and getting his car washed for him when he’s sleeping in, just because.