Is It Ever Okay To Be Cool With A Person Your Former Friend Doesn’t Get Along With?

April 18, 2017  |  

For the record, I will say that as adults, there are just some things you don’t have to explain to people. Whatever decisions you make are yours to live with and know the reasoning for. But if you know anything about the drama between Nicki Minaj and Remy Ma, then this picture probably raised an eyebrow for you:

In it we see Nicki Minaj sitting with a friend and Rashidah Ali at a launch event. Ali is an entrepreneur and reality TV personality who you’ve probably seen on a few episodes of Love and Hip Hip New York over the years. The check she’s received from the series has been because of her work as someone’s friend.

Most recently, she appeared on Season 6 as a best friend of Remy Ma. The two had their issues on-camera (including Remy pretty much trying to shut down one of Ali’s events after a colleague of hers spoke to the rapper in a very disrespectful way, and Ali being jealous of Remy’s friendship with Yandy Smith), but seemed to maintain their friendship. So imagine the confusion and snake emojis that ensued when Ali was seen with Minaj, who so pettily called Ali her “good good sis.” Emphasis on the extra “good” and that facial expression on Minaj’s face in the picture.

When people criticized Ali, who reposted Minaj’s image, she decided that she needed to clear the air about where things truly stand between herself and Remy Ma, and the friendship she’s had with Minaj for some time. She did that with an open letter:

So I guess the question is, is it over OK to mix and mingle with someone who doesn’t get along with your friend or former friend? What if you just so happen to interact with this person sometimes but don’t call them an actual friend? No harm, no foul right?

It honestly doesn’t matter to the offended party. It’s dangerous territory to find yourself in. I know this from experience.

One of my former best friends (friend A) from middle school was upset with me years ago for thinking that I was looking to befriend her former roommate and confidante whom she’d fallen out with. The roommate was still good friends with my other best friend (friend B), whom friend A had also decided to cut off. When friend B and I planned a trip to Las Vegas together, she decided to invite the former roommate on our trip because she had inquired about it and wanted to go. I didn’t think it was a good idea, but I didn’t want to cause drama, so as a buffer, I invited another friend of ours (friend C) to go and room with me. It didn’t work.

When friend A saw the pictures from our trip, she didn’t talk to me for more than a month. When we finally reconnected, she didn’t let me know why she was distant, and instead, seemed to move forward. Soon after that, I prepared to move to New York City for work. When I revealed the news on Facebook, the former roommate, who just so happened to have also moved to New York before me, congratulated me and said that when I got to the big city, we should grab drinks. Thinking nothing negative of her offer (people make fake “let’s catch up!” dates on social media all of the time), I thanked her and said “Sure!” Minutes later, I received a text message from friend A who’d seen the drinks invitation from her frenemy. She sent me a message that pretty much reprimanded me by saying, “Vegas was bad enough, but what, y’all best friends now?!” I didn’t feel like I needed to, but I tried to explain that what she thought was going on, wasn’t going on. We were able to quell that disagreement, but unfortunately, I would spend the next few months, which were the last months of our friendship, continuously explaining myself.

From that experience I realized that you can’t go cheesing or chatting with someone your friends, or former friends, don’t get along with. Even if you don’t mean anything by it, the message sent is that you’re disloyal and want to be in the middle of drama. Not only that, but you may even be getting used by the frenemy for payback purposes.

I think Ali, despite knowing that being seen with Minaj could be good for business, realized she made a misstep with this one. Otherwise, what’s the point of putting out a statement to the public when the only person she needs to reassure about her loyalty is Remy? It’s a tricky situation to get caught up in, and if you ask me, it’s not worth it. Not to mention, who really wants trouble with Remy Ma?

Images via WENN 

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