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Bigstockphoto.com/Beautiful fun happy smiling laughing African American couple joking laying on grass in park wearing white shirts and blue jeans.

Once you stop looking for something, you find it. This rule seems to apply to everything in life; that second shoe, the spare set of keys, that antique armoire—when you finally give up on looking for these things and focus on something else, they pop up. This rule also applies to finding a romantic partner. But there’s a little more logic and reason behind this—as for finding that stiletto three months after giving up on it, who knows why that happens. The dog must have put it there. But when you’re actively seeking a romantic partner, the entire way you think and behave changes. Naturally, how you think and behave affects your ability to A) Identify a good partner and B) Attract a good partner. Here is why you find someone, just when you stop looking.

Corbis

When you’re looking, you’re not picky

When you’re looking for someone, you find reasons to like just about anybody. You force yourself to see the attractive qualities in everyone. That sends you on dozens of dead-end dates.

 

 

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