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Bigstockphoto.com/African-American and Indian young adult smiling business women working together in office.

Have you gotten the message from first dates, exes, ex friends, coworkers, family members—you name it—that you don’t come off as genuine? Maybe that you come off as “networky?” How about “fake”—is that another descriptor you’ve come across from time to time? If you do, it might be because you use people. Those who are always looking to use people are rarely genuine; they only ask themselves how they should behave to get what they want from the other person. Users also strategically align themselves with certain people for their benefit and avoid others. Maybe you were taught through your industry, or your upbringing, that you can only get ahead in life by using people. But that behavior only gets you so far; the people in real power spot the users, and can’t stand them. Are you one of those people?

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You feel the need to flatter

When you meet someone you consider powerful, you find yourself searching for compliments to pay them. Users use flattery to get into the good graces of people they want to use.

 

 

 

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