How To Choose Your Maid Of Honor

March 17, 2017  |  
1 of 16 bridesmaid applying makeup to African-American bride.

Being someone’s maid of honor (MOH) is supposed to be, well, an honor. And it is! But what it also is is a major time commitment, rather stressful, and expensive. That’s why picking your best friend may not always be the best choice. You may love your best friend but does she have a maid of honor qualities? Maybe not, and maybe that’s why you love her! She is laid back, goes with the flow and is childlike. But your maid of honor cannot be those things. Having a good maid of honor will make wedding planning easier and having a bad one will make it harder. Here are things to think about when choosing your maid of honor.

Image Source: Shutterstock

If it isn’t your best friend, pick someone neutral

Your best friend will be insulted unless you choose someone neutral, or choose someone based on politics. For example, maybe you need to choose your fiancé’s sister because she has been feeling left out.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Have you done much for her?

You can’t very well ask someone to be your maid of honor if you haven’t done much for them. So, if you were too busy to bring them soup when they were sick, they might resent the tasks that come with being MOH.

Image: Shutterstock

Are they available?

Sure, your CEO friend is amazing at being organized and negotiating prices. But she is also a CEO who probably can’t commit much time to this.





How is their love life?

If your perfect choice is going through a rough breakup or divorce, you’ll need to find another one: she doesn’t need to plan somebody’s happily ever after right now.


Does she have money?

Being a maid of honor costs money! Between the baby shower and the bachelorette party,  things add up. Don’t choose your friend who constantly complains that she is broke.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Does she approve of this union?

Don’t choose a MOH who doesn’t 110% approve of your getting married. If she isn’t all on board, she will put a bad vibe on your entire experience.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Does she play well with others?

Your maid of honor will still need to cooperate with your other bridesmaids on certain decisions, so don’t choose someone too bossy.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Is she on her sh*t?

Does she keep a calendar? Does she remember things? Is she good at time management? Does she show up on time?




Is she easily stressed?

You need a maid of honor who will not become flustered if the florist lost an order or the lounge for your bachelorette party lost your reservation.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Do your other bridesmaids like her?

If for some reason your other bridesmaids don’t like the person you want as your MOH you’ll have some rough sledding ahead of you; they’ll passive aggressively fight her on decisions.

"DJ at a party pf"

Will she throw the right bachelorette party?

If it’s important to you to have a wild bachelorette party, equipped with all the things that comes with, you can’t choose your friend who gets giggly after half a glass of Chardonnay.



Image Source: Shutterstock

Be diplomatic

If you have two friends who you know both feel entitled to the job, you may need to choose a family member so as not to cause a fight.



Image Source: Shutterstock

Is she a self-starter?

The reason you gave a maid of honor is to relieve yourself at least of some responsibilities. You can’t choose someone who calls you with a question about every little choice in life.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Is she gutsy?

You need a MOH who isn’t afraid to bargain with vendors and tip the right people to get the best table at the strip club.



Corbis Images

Does she have kids?

Don’t put this task on your friend who has kids. She may seem like a top choice if she doesn’t work right now, but her job as a mom is busier than possibly any other job.

Trending on MadameNoire

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN