How To Keep Sex An Essential Part Of Your Relationship After Having Kids

January 19, 2017  |  

It’s not a secret that children can affect your marriage in incredible ways: you’ve felt a love that you’ve never experienced before, they say the cutest and funniest things, and they bring about much self-awareness. But sex after having kids? Well, they little ones also have a way of diminishing your sex life. Whether you’re a newbie or have kids in grade school, it’s time to bring sexy back.

couple in bed, sex

Make it a priority

There’s no doubt that children can make your schedule more hectic and time spent alone with your spouse much more limited. Just like date nights, you should schedule time for intimate moments. Since committing to sex with each date night isn’t always feasible, plan to carve out time specifically for it.

You can increase excitement leading up to your special day by sending each other sexy text messages throughout the day detailing your plans for your romantic evening. There’s also the option of randomly touching each other while in passing and cuddling like teenagers while watching a movie or television together before you meet in the bedroom.

Get more sleep

I can see how getting more sleep can seem counterproductive, but your low energy level can be attributed to your lack of rest. In fact, a study by Laura Berman, director of the Berman Women’s Wellness Center, reported that more sex is connected to additional rest.

“Couples who engaged in regular sex were more likely to experience high-quality sleep than couples who didn’t.” Berman told

Listen to your body and rest when you can’t seem to function at your best. Sleep in during the weekends or take turns with household chores and the kids so you and your spouse can catch up on some much-needed z’s. It will all be worth it in the end.

Change the venue

With crying babies, nagging toddlers and poopy diapers, it can be difficult to make your home (even your bedroom) a romantic place. Try going on a staycation to a bed and breakfast or to a local hotel, even if it’s only for a few hours.

While there, take the time to go all out with romantic gestures. Try starting a sensual bath with oils and bubbles or giving a full-body massage.

Act fast

Literally. Get in where you fit in and learn to do the do quickly. Although it’s not the most romantic-sounding idea, a quickie will allow the two of you to briefly connect and have some time to yourselves.

After all, you won’t always have the opportunity to have an all-out lovemaking session, so sometimes you have to practice keeping it short. According to Women’s Health, a few ways to get things going include communicating clearly, not wasting time getting completely naked, or if you’re really in a rush but in the mood, solely choosing to engage in oral sex.

Whatever you do to get the fire going again, sex is an important part of a healthy marriage, so it’s an area that should be handled with care. Get started and have fun!

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