Funny Things Women Do When Their Period Is Late

December 29, 2016  |  
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Men will never fully understand the emotions a woman experiences when her period is late. They may understand part of those emotions if it’s their partner who has a tardy Aunt Flow—they’ll understand the fear, excitement, and shock that comes with the possibility of being a parent—but they can never really fathom the crazy thoughts and feelings that go through a woman.

Most women consider their period a giant nuisance that interferes with sex, wearing thongs, and doing certain yoga positions in a public class. It’s only when your period doesn’t show up that you really, really wish you were seeing red. Or maybe you don’t. Or maybe you’re not sure. It’s probably some combination of those. Here are the crazy, hilarious things women think and do when their period is late.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

“That explains the weight gain”

If you are pregnant, you are likely only a few weeks pregnant. There is no way you’d see any weight gain yet. But still, you feel justified in your third donut because you’ve decided your weight gain is just pregnancy gain.

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock.com/baby shoes

Shutterstock.com/baby shoes

Time to look at baby clothes

There is a certain serenity to be found in shopping—even for baby clothes. Even when you don’t know if you’re actually pregnant. But come on; there are some pretty adorable baby track suits and Uggs out there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

“Would he make a good dad?”

Then the questions rush in. “Would my partner make a good dad? Does he even want to be a dad? How committed is he to this relationship, really?” These questions cause you to stage some sort of weird test, like asking your boyfriend to perform your next pap smear just to gauge his commitment to you.

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Scream when you see a baby

While you’re still unsure if you are pregnant, or how you’d feel if you were pregnant, babies seem to pop up everywhere. You could swear they jump out at you, like scary animated Halloween decorations. BAH!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Research your birth control

You already know how reliable your form of birth control is supposed to be. But you’re going to double check, just in case. Actually, you’re going to check 15 times and call customer service to get clarification on some of these statistics.

 

 

 

 

Image Source; Shutterstock

Image Source; Shutterstock

Look into a baby’s eyes

Maybe if one baby looks into your eyes, he will know if there is another baby inside of you, and he will give you some sign. Seems logical.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Black woman/mom relaxing/enjoying vacation

Shutterstock

Act like a mom

Not maternal, but like a mom. Meaning when your friends invite you out for Happy Hour you mention something about needing to rest because the baby kept you up all night…errr…your work presentation kept you up all night.

 

 

 

 

don't judge challenge

Shutterstock

Get very angry at your partner

You will almost definitely feel quite angry at your partner when your period is late. You’re not sure why. It could have to do with the fact that he doesn’t know what you’re going through and you think that’s very insensitive of him!

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Feel your tummy

You may put your hand on your tummy all day, trying to see if you can feel a kick. Again, you would be only a few weeks pregnant at this point.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Try on maternity clothes

You just want to figure out what your options are, what the good brands are, which ones will make your breasts look best, and that kind of thing.

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Jump up and down

When you’ve decided you really wish your period would arrive, you may begin to jump up and down, in the hopes of inducing a period. You might even stand on your head for a bit.

 

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Make a Facebook post

“Has anybody ever had a late period? What were the causes? Asking for a friend.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Calculate your fake child’s future

“Okay, if I stop spending so much on this, negotiate a better rate on this, and ask for this much more at work, then I can afford to feed my child through at least age 12.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Drunken denial

You go into denial—but not just any denial. Oh no. You are so set on proving to yourself that you don’t think you’re pregnant, you take up cigarettes and bourbon, just for the hell of it. But then you throw it all away because what if you’re freaking pregnant!?

 

 

 

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Act weird around your partner

First, you’ll ignore his phone calls. Then you’ll feel bad for ignoring them, and you’ll call him. Then you’ll behave very jumpy on the phone, but when he asks if something is wrong, you will become angry that he is implying you are acting strangely.

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