Signs You’ve Become Codependent In Your Relationship

December 6, 2016  |  
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One of the joys of being in a committed, happy relationship is that your partner becomes one of your closest friends, and he is usually pretty available to you. Trying to make plans with your other best friends (the ones you don’t have sex with) can be impossible—sometimes it takes months of planning one brunch date! Not so with your boo; he’s built time with you into 70 percent of his schedule. It’s magical. Fun is never too far away. But that does not mean that you should become lazy about nurturing your other relationships, knowing how to have fun by yourself, knowing how to make big decisions on your own…you get the idea. Just because you can depend on your partner doesn’t mean you should need him all the time. Here are signs you’ve become codependent in your relationship and need to put a stop to it!

 

 

Corbis

Corbis

You sit at home when he travels

If your partner goes out of town for a weekend, you have absolutely nothing to do. You try to call friends, but they are already busy—you didn’t think to ask them earlier…

 

 

 

 

Corbis Images

Corbis Images

You always know how long it’s been since you spoke

You always know exactly how long it’s been since you and your partner last texted or called each other. And you get anxious if that time gets a little long.

 

 

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You’re there when other girlfriends aren’t

You find yourself at a lot of “get togethers” where you are the only girlfriend. Clearly, this was meant to be a guy’s night, but your partner felt too guilty to leave you at home because he figured you’d have nothing else to do.

 

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You can’t make a decision on your own

You panic at the thought of making a major decision without talking to your partner. The decision has nothing to do with his life—it’s about your career or your finances—but you’re so used to talking things out with him that you think you can’t trust your own intuition.

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You turn girl’s night into double date night

When your girlfriends ask you to have a girls night, you get anxiety over losing a night with your partner. You always suggest it become double date night so that you can bring your boo along.

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

Image Source: Shutterstock.com

You stay home if he does

Even if you had been looking forward to an event for ages, if your partner can’t make it, you won’t go. You’ll stay home with him rather than go to something you really wanted to go to solo.

 

 

 

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You get nervous if he doesn’t call you “Baby” or “Boo”

If your partner calls you by your full, real name and not by some term of endearment, you feel a pit in your stomach. You identify so strongly now with the role of his girlfriend, that when he calls you by your more individual name, it makes you nervous.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

You enable his bad behavior

When you’re in a truly codependent relationship, you never dare to challenge the person—to tell them the way they are behaving is immature or weak or wrong. When you’re codependent, and your partner throws a tantrum or asks for something unreasonable, you indulge it. You’re too afraid that being honest would cause a fight or a sense of distance.

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You feel threatened by new friends

If your partner is very enthusiastic about a new friend in his life, rather than feel happy for him, you feel threatened by this new friend. You fear that the new friend will encroach on your alone time with your partner.

 

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Your self-love rituals are on the back burner

You’ve stopped meditating, stopped going to the gym by yourself, and stopped visiting your parents once a month in favor of being with your partner.

 

 

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

The thought of losing your partner makes your heart stop

If you have to imagine a life without your partner, you have an anxiety attack. You really have all of the symptoms of a full-blown panic attack. We should want a life with our partner, of course. The thought of not having them should be devastating. But we should not feel we would die without them. Then we’ve become far too codependent.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You’re no longer dependable

Your friends and family cannot count on you to keep plans. You might cancel those plans simply because your partner seems a little bit down that night, and you think you should stay home and console him. Even if he insists, you don’t have to…

 

 

 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

You over-explain your relationship

When you tell your friends or family about something kind you did for your partner or a sacrifice you made for your partner, you do a lot of hedging, prefacing and explaining. In your gut, you know you revolve your life around your partner, and it’s unhealthy.

 

 

 

shutterstock

shutterstock

Accommodating your partner’s wishes is a full-time job

It’s never occurred to you that you could say to your partner, “I don’t have time to grocery shop for you every time I stop into the store to grab something.” It’s never occurred to you that you could say to your partner, “Once a week I need to sleep in the other room to get a good night’s rest.” You consider it your job to accommodate his wishes and preferences. In fact, it’s become a full-time job.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Your happiness is tied entirely to your relationship

You cannot enjoy any other aspect of life—time with friends, success in your career, time with family—unless you feel your relationship is on an absolute solid ground. If you and your partner got into the tiniest tiff, you are mentally removed from everything else that day.

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