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When I was sitting in an awesome church a couple of weeks ago, among the many thought-provoking statements made by the pastor, one profound statement stuck in my head. He was doing the kind of preaching that makes you go “Hmm!” “Yeeeeeeeeeesssssssss,” or as my friend likes to say, makes you go “SAY THAT!” He said that it’s possible that God hasn’t brought a new individual into your life (aka, a boo), the one you might be looking for, because you’re too busy messing with folks you know you shouldn’t be. Deep, huh?

That statement has been on my mind since then, and I guess it moved me most during that time because I knew in my heart I was playing back and forth games with a guy that I should have left alone a loooooong time ago. Like years ago to be specific. But when you’re bored and don’t feel like being patient for the next man as I sometimes am, you start messing with that guy from the past. The one that still texts your phone just to say “hey” so that he can play games and try and make sure he’s still on your mind. Also known as checking on your for reasons that have nothing to do with true friendship, but just to be nosey and spit some game. For a hot second there I think I believed that we could talk again, that I could overlook all his past faults and bulls**t and in time we could work things out. Truth was, within weeks he was back on that bullsh**t and I knew it was going to happen–I just did the *Kanye shrug* and walked into fire. After all these years he was still behaving recklessly, and as always, he was trying to move WAY too fast for my liking instead of letting things flow naturally. NOTHING had changed for real.

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