It’s said, “All’s fair in love in war,” but in the battle of the sexes, mixed love languages and missed signals often leave wounded casualties. SAM, author of the no holds barred book, How To Control The D-ck: The Good Girl Guide To Being The Best Girlfriend Or Wife He’s Ever Had, gives readers a new take on love by offering tips and tricks on fostering and sustaining meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
With over ten years of dating research and experience, SAM has curated a guide to help any woman manifest a mutually beneficial relationship. Through a candid, conversational tone, SAM’s personal experiences are shared and illustrated with vivid hindsight. With seductive and enticing chapters like, “Good Girls=Givers,” and “Lay It On Him,” SAM channels our inner siren while imparting sound advice on how to maintain a man’s interest, and keep things spicy in and outside of the bedroom. As a quintessential relationship guide, unveiling some unknown and vital truths about relationship dynamics, this book, thankfully, isn’t an oversexed roadmap to physical manipulation. It is, however, a funny and thought-provoking compilation of “oohs” and “aha moments,” gently tugging at reader’s heartstrings, habits and relationship patterns to spark change.
In the book, SAM shares 15 dating commandments that have allowed her to weed out the jokers and solidify a loving and stable relationship with her current beau. Over a period of time, and after some not so great experiences, SAM developed this list by getting clear about what she did and did not want for herself.
Some of her commandments include:
• I will not communicate with a man solely through email, text, or a combination of the two. I need to have actual
conversations via telephone.
• I refuse to talk with people who only reach out to me because they want or need an ego stroke, sex, or a psychologist
• If I can’t go to a man’s house, he can’t come to mine.
• I will not engage in any kind of sexual behavior or have sex with a male friend.
•If a guy I like disappears often and without reason, he is no longer deserving of my affection.
Interestingly, SAM also shares how she finds dating men with children can often be an advantage, provided the co-parenting situation is a positive one. Men with children who are actively participating in their kids’ growth and development, possess a selflessness some men have yet to develop. Through personal anecdotes, SAM illustrates how an ex had been so delicate and caring with her during a time of illness, a trait she attributes to the fact that he is a father.
The book also, somewhat controversially, discusses effective ways to turn down your Type A personality if its causing riffs in the relationship. In “Leave Him At Work,” Type A’s learn how to take the hard hat of leadership off. By consciously making an effort to tame the beast, a door of opportunity can be opened for both partners in a relationship. With gestures of love like cooking in nothing but heels, feeding your partner fruits, or giving an unsolicited massage, both partners can relax, detach from the stresses of their work worlds, and enjoy one another in the moment.
When asked about millennial dating, SAM said she believes the number one issue daters today face is the “grass is always greener on the other side” mentality. Because everyone seems to be on a continuous search for the next best thing, the effort and care it takes to nurture a relationship is often tossed by the wayside. Perhaps “How To Control The D-ick” will help some get back on track.