An Open Letter To Mompreneurs

September 28, 2016  |  

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Shutterstock

When a mother decides that she will travel the path of entrepreneurship, it’s not a decision made lightly. I know because I have made the same decision, and some days are a struggle. And not only are some days a struggle, but many are filled with pain and doubt. When you go into it, you think you are prepared for the choppy waters, but you soon realize that you had no idea how choppy the waters would get.

Sure, there are moments where you feel confident; knowing that you are doing this to show your kids that anything is possible if your work hard and stay the course. But sometimes, those moments don’t last long enough. If something—anything—goes wrong with our kids, doubt begins to set in. Did it happen because we weren’t paying enough attention? Did it happen because of something we forgot to do? Are we failing them because we are up until 3:00 a.m. working on our business?

Is it possible that your decision to pursue your entrepreneurial dreams is going to impact your children? Yes, it is. Actually, it isn’t just possible; it is likely. When you choose a path that comes with moments of victory and defeat, it will impact your children simply because it will have a profound impact on you. With time and lessons learned all entrepreneurs come to find that failure is an opportunity to learn something so you can do better down the line. But the reality is that even when you’ve evolved enough to get that, failure still hurts. It still leaves you feeling like you aren’t hustling hard enough… like maybe you are making a big mistake.

From one mom to another, I understand your struggle. I know what it’s like when you decide that entrepreneurship is the path you want to follow, but you have children to raise. It is no easy feat. Kids demand a lot, and they should. After all, we decided to bring them into the world. They require and deserve our very best. To give them less leaves everyone involved feeling cheated. So is it possible to pursue our dreams and still give these young people in our lives our best? I certainly think it is.

You see, I’ve spent a good deal of time giving my kids my all, leaving me worn out and disappointed because my all never felt like enough. Then, one day it hit me. My kids don’t want or need my all. Why would they want the person responsible for raising them left feeling depleted? Kids are far too smart for that. What they want is our best. They want us to be our very best because they know that if we are the best possible version of ourselves, that is what they will get when they engage with us.

Your decision to pursue your dreams should be about you, not your kids. It should be a selfish decision, because putting in that level of commitment and work for anyone other than yourself is dangerous business. Sure, you want your kids to reap the benefits of your hard work—like financial stability and the courage to pursue their dreams—and that is completely fine. That is actually a great thing. But the decision to walk this difficult path of creating and growing your own business has to be a decision you make because you feel like it’s right for you.

You will have great days. Cherish those. Celebrate them. But you will also have really crappy days. Cherish those, too. They will make you stronger, and they will help you keep your accomplishments in perspective. Don’t let the bad days break you. I know that a bad day in your entrepreneurial world makes it really had to have a great day as a mom. It is often painfully hard for me. But I am working on making that separation, knowing that one impacts the other, but I cannot let one define the experience I have with the other.

Moms, this struggle is real. There is no doubt about that. It’s a hard road to travel. The most important thing I have learned is that in your pursuit to become a success in all areas of your life, you have to embrace the fact that you cannot do it alone. You need help. And I don’t just mean the help from friends and family members who are willing to step in with the kids at times to help you keep your head above water (although that kind of help is needed and priceless). The help I am referring to is the help you can get from fellow mompreneurs. In my toughest moments, I don’t always turn to my closest friends. In my toughest moments of managing my dreams with motherhood, I turn to other women who are knee deep in this struggle, too. Their stories bring me calm. Their wisdom gives me strength.

Be selfish. Pursue your dreams. Pamper yourself. Eat healthy food. Create a vision board. Read an inspirational book. Call a friend who gets it. Do all of these things knowing that, ultimately your ability to parent your children well is going to get better. By investing in the vision you have for your life, you are creating a woman that your children will crave to be around—a woman they will always be proud to call mommy.

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