Marriage Habits That Prevent Divorce

September 27, 2016  |  
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Divorce doesn’t come out of nowhere. Even if it seems like it comes out of nowhere, because somebody cheats, is abusive, or “suddenly” decides they’d like to leave, it really never comes out of nowhere. There were always incidents leading up to it. And that means the opposite is true. There are little things along the way that lead to a relationship lasting and, in some ways, even prevent divorce. Here are 15 of them. 

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Completely sharing your belongings

If you cultivate a true sense of “what’s mine is yours” then you won’t get into stupid arguments over who owes who $33. Throwing a wrench into a perfectly fun day is not worth getting $33 back. If you do that kind of thing day after day, you’ll harm your connection.
Corbis

Corbis

Being very open about flirting

Flirting from other people that is. If you have a coworker who has a crush on you, tell your partner about it–you can both just laugh over it. Trying to hide it to preserve your partner’s feelings can end up making your partner feel that you had bad intentions.
Corbis Images

Corbis Images

Not guarding him against in-laws

Rather than think, “My partner should have to deal with my annoying aunt and uncle if I have to!” you should think, “I love my partner; I want to protect him from unpleasant experiences. I’ll try to get him out of these lunches with the mean in-laws as much as possible.” Be on his side; don’t force him to suffer with you.
Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

Take domestic stuff in stride

If you understand, from the beginning, that a dirty dish or a messy bedroom is not personal, then you can address these things with a loving, humorous tone. And doing that can prevent resentment and negative feelings from building up.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Having meals together

It’s important for families, and it’s important for married couples. It’s too easy to eat at different times, across the room, while you’re on laptops or reading newspapers. You don’t really interact when you do that and you go to bed feeling distant.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Putting the relationship before your career

Ideally, you don’t have to choose between your marriage and your career. But you should have the perspective to realize that if your job requires you to do something that is bad for your marriage, then that is the wrong job for you.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Say no to other people/things

When life gets really busy, there will literally always be something you could be doing rather than hanging with your spouse. But try to be aware of how long you two go without a night with just each other. Don’t let it go too long. Say no to hanging out with other people so you can be alone together.
Corbis Images

Corbis Images

Do things together

It sounds so simple, but after you’ve been together for a while, rather than agree on an activity you both want to do on a Saturday, you might decide it’s easier to go your separate ways so you can both do what you want to do. But being together is more important than doing the thing you want to do.
don't judge challenge

Shutterstock

Get rid of nay-sayers

If you have friends or relatives who speak poorly about your spouse, or who just wish you weren’t married, get rid of them. Only keeping around people who support the marriage is a way that you support the marriage.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Never, ever keep score

Just don’t even start. Don’t even try. If your partner can’t come to your friend’s party because he’s exhausted, don’t remind him that you went to his friend’s party last week. Always look to help the other person be happy and rested. Think of them; not yourself.
Image Source: Shuttestock

Image Source: Shuttestock

Plan things together

Your partner should be your adventure partner! Life can become stressful at worst and mundane at best. Make sure you and your partner always have an adventure on the horizon–something to look forward to. This way, your partner becomes a part of the thing that de-stresses you.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Have sex

This one is a bit of a no-brainer, but some people need reminding! Sex is something you have to make time for, just like date night! If you go too long without having sex, and let other obligations get in the way, you’re missing out on the incredible chemical bonding that comes with sex.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Consider your spouse in your decisions

Decisions like, putting a down payment on a home, letting a relative move in for a few months, saying no to a promotion that would’ve given you both income you really needed.
Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Speak up when you need to

A good partner will do what he can to remove pain from your life, help you feel better, and make sure he doesn’t hurt you in the future. Don’t keep quiet about your needs because you think they’re petty. Maybe they are petty–but a good partner doesn’t judge your needs. Speaking up can prevent built-up resentment.
Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Be quiet when you need to, too

When something upsets you, ask yourself, “What are the chances of this happening again? Is there a solution to this? Is it fair for me to be mad about this?” Most of the time you’ll realize the issue probably won’t even come up again, and it isn’t worth fighting about.

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