Dating Diary Of A Single Mom: Finding Mr. Perfect

September 6, 2016  |  



Before we get down to business, let me just clarify a few details in my last entry. I had known the gentleman in question for a significant amount of time, he even knows my family. The only thing I was questioning was whether or not I had the right to be mad he didn’t carry my 50 pound baby car seat set. I mean overall, from beginning to end, I knew the whole scenario was a sham. I was willfully being naive under the guise of hopefulness.

Now, back to more important news…over the weekend I went on a date with my co-worker, whom I’ll call Mr. Perfect. A few weeks ago we casually struck up a conversation as we robotically read package labels and sorted boxes into their respective chutes. We discussed nothing extraordinary, yet I found myself not wanting the conversation to end. He told me about his son, and how he was an electrical engineering graduate student. We even discussed our parental other halves and dating horrors. One would think that was heavy stuff for an initial conversation, but something about him was so familiar and comfortable. We talked constantly for weeks.

I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone so quickly in my life. Everything is just easy with him. There is no over-thinking, or doubtfulness, and I can’t tell if it is because I’m different, or he is.

Our conversations went on and we discussed our siblings, college, and I told him I was a writer. He read my book “Love Letters I Never Sent,” and even checked out my column. He asked me out, and I acquiesced.

All night we talked, and laughed. I made a complete fool of myself  thinking General Nutrition Center was something other than GNC, and I’m still embarrassed (even now) about that. For the last week I have been utterly googly eyed for this man. Towering over me at 5’11 and covered in beautifully deep brown skin with hands that swallow mine when our fingers lace he is literally everything I have prayed for personified. My gentle giant with the most sincere eyes, and a genuine smile that instantly calms the millions of butterflies fluttering through my body almost seems too good to be true. Even as I write this I can’t help but smile.

Over the years I have learned to take things for what they are, as they are. It is very possible this won’t last because maybe he’ll turn out differently than he appears to be, or maybe I’ll push him away. Either way I am willing to take the risk to find out.

Without a doubt, motherhood has not only redefined what love is, but taught me how to love. On the hard days when frustration and stress run high and my daughter is acting up, it is my love for her that allows patience to guide me in dealing with her. It is my love for her that makes it hard to stay mad with her, and in the same way children are loved with patience and mercy, I have learned that men and women should be loved in such a manner also.

If you loved your ex the way you love your kid(s), would you still be together? If you extended the same patience, and unconditional adoration you pour into your children in your love life how much different could things be?

This time around I want something different, I believe it is possible and I’m willing to work for it.

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