Let me tell you about the worst date ever in the history of dating since the beginning of the world, back to when Adam first took Eve out. The night I officially broke things off with the guy when we went to the movies. Everything was normal, he was on my nerves as usual, but it was what happened upon arriving to the theatre that had sent my internal volcano of anger into a massive eruption. It was a Sunday evening, we went to a late showing, 10:00 p.m. or so. Due to several factors my daughter was with us this particular evening. She had fallen asleep on the ride to the theatre, so I decided it was best to keep her in her car seat in an effort to keep her sleeping. I put my daughter’s bag on my back, shouldered my purse and proceeded to pull the car seat, with her in it, out of the car. Anyone who has spent time with a child and had to travel with them in any capacity knows the general hassle of dealing with a car seat.
Imagine a petite woman lugging a 30 pound baby in a car seat and carrying two bags, next to a grown 28-year old man.
Yea, looks pretty ridiculous doesn’t it?
But that was my reality. Struggling to breathe and barely keeping my balance, my feet shuffled across the parking lot, up the walkway and through the theatre lobby to our movie’s seats. Out of breath, with a headache coming on, slight cough and stuffy nose, I was beyond pissed. It was all over me and he knew it. He tried to excuse himself from the obvious blunder by reminding me that he offered to carry my bag. Now I may be crazy, but I believe in this little thing called chivalry and gentlemenhood. You know, when a guy, especially one that is supposed to be in interested in you offers to help you carry something heavy, amongst a slew of other polite gestures.
For the remainder of the evening the only thing that had been running through my mind, was the fact that I absolutely could never seriously date, or even marry a man that got weekly manicures, clear polish and all, and avoided anything that remotely resembled a “manly” task.
To make things worse throughout the entire movie, he continually asked me to kiss him, after repeatedly being told no. If I had to name the worst thing anyone could ever do to me, it would be one: lie, and two: make me repeat myself. By now my little anger demon is going berserk, begging me to indulge him and just go off. Somehow I remain calm and channel my energy into the movie. Once the movie had ended I don’t think I have ever been so happy to be heading home in my entire life. Again, I packed up everything, and this time carried my bags and my daughter in my arms. He took her carseat and jetted for the door, walking several feet ahead of us not even stopping to hold the doors. Once I finally got to the car, he was sitting comfortably in the driver’s seat, just waiting. Needless, to say the car ride was silent. I was livid.
We pull up to my place, and I realized that I had dozed off on the ride home. I quickly wake up once I realize homeboy was taking off my seat belt as if to rush me out of the car. “Yo! What are you doing?” I asked and hopped out of the car not even waiting for a response.
For the third time, I grab all my things and my child, and proceed to head to the door. Hands and arms visibly full this clown proceeds to demand a hug. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HUG YOU WITH MY HANDS FULL?!” I yell (there was definitely an “F” bomb somewhere in there), and turn to head for the door. I was fuming, I couldn’t believe what had just taken place. I was embarrassed thinking about how insane I looked walking next to him at the theatre. Everyone’s eyes following me across the floor; I could only imagine what they were thinking.
After sending him a five-page text detailing why I couldn’t allow myself to continue our circus act, I called my cousin almost in a state of disbelief to tell her what had happened. She joked that he decided he wasn’t carrying the car seat since it wasn’t his kid and I wasn’t giving him any.
While this fellow had some great fundamental qualities about him, his severe lack of maturity was debilitating. As I expressed to him, I need a man that can compliment me in every way. Money is fleeting, and while financial stability garners a five-star rating, I need someone who can do more than open their wallet.
“I need a man in tune with my needs, whether I speak them or not. I need a man that knows his role in my life and in my daughters’…”
I’ve got goals and plans of execution. What I need is someone who will carry the groceries in the house, send me flowers, and ask me to tie their tie. Seems simple enough right?
Am I insane? Should he NOT have offered to carry the carseat? Comment below and tell me what you think. What would you do in this situation?