Would You Relocate To Find Love?

September 1, 2016  |  




Atlanta, San Francisco, Minneapolis, Austin, and Boston. These are the top five cities to find love, according to Forbes. They’re also five cities I don’t plan to live in anytime soon, likely ever.

The city I currently reside in wasn’t even listed in the top 20 places. I figured that wouldn’t happen. It’s been extremely difficult meeting men who not only hold my interest here, but can also carry on a basic conversation. “You should move,” one of my closest friends suggested. While that suggestion sounded absurd to me, she admitted that if she doesn’t meet anyone soon, she just might pack her bags and change her zip code.

Moving for a man you are already in a relationship with and moving to find a relationship are two completely different things. Some may even debate that the latter is downright desperate; but if your area isn’t generously flowing with eligible bachelors who meet your standards, should you do just that?

Some dating coaches suggest changing your location, even temporarily, if your city is lacking a decent pool of men. Starting over somewhere new sounds pretty extreme to me, but more and more women are at least considering it in their decision when choosing to relocate altogether.

Back in 2010, The Daily Beast conducted their own study of the best and worst places to find love. They looked at the singles ratio, social life, emotional health, and marriage ratio in their research to determine the best places for cupid to strike. One of the factors they considered that most other studies neglected was happiness (emotional health). They concluded that happy people are more open to love. So the places where the happiest people dwell are the best locations to find it. Some of the worst places to find a mate, according to their study, included Phoenix, Detroit Michigan, and the place I currently live: Memphis, Tenn. Go figure.

Imagine my dismay when I read this. I’d moved to Memphis just a few years ago for a job opportunity. I knew that my social life would change drastically from what it was when I lived in Washington, D.C. and New York, but over the last few months, I’ve noticed just how tremendous the change has been. While Memphis is full of some great people, statistics show that the city isn’t screaming opportunity for jobs as well as singles.

After reading The Daily Beast study, I told my friend about it, and she reiterated that I should move. While I’m not ready to even consider making such a major step, I can’t help but wonder if I will ever find love during my stint here. I clearly didn’t find lasting love as a resident in either of the budding cities where I previously lived, but I definitely met more men and developed some great relationships. Here in Memphis, not so much. But is that a reason to pack up my things, cut ties with a good job (the reason I moved here in the first place) and just leave? I’m just not there yet in my quest for love.

While many of us would move for a new job opportunity, would we do so for the opportunity to make a romantic connection? One is usually guaranteed (unless you’re moving in the hopes that you will find something when you get to this new, bustling city), the other is not. Most of us who move for a new job already have the position; but for those who move for a man, who says you will actually meet him? So is it even worth it to try?

I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point where I would take such a huge gamble. However, I might consider it as simply one of the factors to keep in mind when choosing a new place to live down the line – but not as a deciding factor. Still, I can’t knock any woman who is willing to take a chance on love.

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