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As harsh as that “He’s just not that into you” relationship self-help phase of the early 2000s was for women, it was also one of the realest times in the never-ending cycle of questioning that goes on between men and women who, seemingly, want to connect with one another in some meaningful way.

But 12 years later, a lot of us still haven’t gotten the message. Some of us are with the very same men we were with in 2004, still wondering why he hasn’t put a ring on it, stopped sleeping with other women, introduced us to his mama, the list goes on. We’re not judging; but if you’ve found yourself in the confused camp as of late, asking whether the man you’re currently involved with is “the one” — or sees you as the one — we encourage you to truly take in these words Taraji P. Henson shared on Instagram yesterday and recognize “If they’re confused about you, this is a good indicator that they’re not the one.”

Anybody else seeing a little more clearly now?

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