Single Moms: Here’s Why Online Dating Is A Must

August 18, 2016  |  



Have you considered creating a profile on an online dating site? Are you weighing the pros and cons? Scared of the whole thing? Don’t worry, we are helping single parents navigate online dating and addressing your concerns. Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams is moving us beyond the surface to experience the true love and intimacy we deserve. Are you in?

As a single mother, life can be overwhelming. No matter the level of support you have, you’re probably juggling your career, family and your personal needs. You want to advance and succeed at work but you want to be there for your little ones. You also want to have a life of your own but… you can feel guilty for having fun away from the family. How do I know? I know because although I’m not a parent yet I have the honor of being a safe space for your fears and joys as a personal coach.

When striving for balance in your life seems impossible, I advise single moms to reach for harmony instead. Everything will go better if mommy is happy. It may sound selfish to put yourself at the top of the list, but consider that old metaphor about the oxygen mask in the airplane. You have to take care of yourself so that you can do the best for your children.

Yes, it can seem daunting to get back into the dating field with little ones at home. Luckily, we live in an age where you can rejoin the land of the living right from your laptop. Online dating makes it easier for you to get back on the market as a single mom with her own needs.

See that? No excuses. The time has come to release any fears you have about taking your love life online.

Why Online Dating?

1. Online dating lets us reach beyond our circles.

Online dating is beneficial for many reasons. Where do we have opportunities to meet new people as adults? There is the workplace and through people we know. Those are the main ways that people meet someone to date and possibly fall in love with. The workplace is tricky, of course, and in many cases we risk career suicide. Dating by referral is great but what if your family and friends know the same folks you do? If the idea of meeting someone in a club seems ridiculous to you, now what?

2. Online dating can remind us that it’s not as bleak as they tell us.

The media can be unrelenting in the picture it paints for single women. It’s easy to believe through what you see on TV, what you hear from your friends and maybe your own experience that there are no great men left out there. The good thing about online dating is that you can see that there are thousands of men who are looking for relationships. Of course, they all won’t be interested in you but that’s great because you aren’t interested in all of them, either.

3. Online dating can help us break our own dating stereotypes.

Have you ever been in a relationship rut where you seem to be attracting the same kind of man over and over again? You need to posses the qualities you wish to attract in previous nonetheless, it’s still easy to get caught up in our dating types.

Maybe you always date artists or bankers. Perhaps the bad boy or the selfish geek is your type.

What if you are locked into a belief that a certain kind of man only like women of your complexion, hair type, body size or educational level? Perhaps you only are used to men from your town, ethnic group or religion.

Checking out the Internet’s romantic marketplace can allow you to step beyond your own narrow parameters of love.

Is dating online dangerous?

The main resistance I hear from women who have yet to take the online love plunge is a fear of danger. Sometimes your cousin’s uncle’s hair braider had a bad experience. Or you watched a few episodes of MTV’s docu-horror series “Catfish” and it seems like there’s a Facebook swindler lurking behind every profile.

Guess what? The guys you meet online are the same men walking around in real life! It’s not like there’s a different batch of dudes in our computers. Online dating is a major way that people begin relationships now. There’s not just one type of person who is dating online. Just like there are different clubs, restaurants, venues there are different sites based on what you’re looking for.

You are young and vibrant and your kids deserve to see mommy happy. The practices that you model for them are how they will live their own lives. Get out there!

Catch up on more from Abiola

Passionate Living Coach Abiola Abrams gives extraordinary women inspiring advice on healthy relationships, self-esteem and getting the love we deserve. You’ve seen her love interventions in magazines from Essence to JET and on shows from MTV’s “Made” to the CW Network’s “Bill Cunningham Show.” Find love class worksheets, advice videos, coaching, and more at Abiola’s Love University. Her upcoming advice guide is named “The Official Bombshell Handbook.” Tweet @abiolaTV or #loveclass.  

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