While most folks tie the knot soon after a proposal happens, Jennifer Hudson and her fiancé, David Otunga, have been going against the grain since 2008. The pair have been engaged for eight years, and last time Hudson talked about a wedding, it sounded like she still wasn’t interested in walking down the aisle anytime soon. As she told Wendy Williams in 2014, “You ain’t gotta understand” their decision to take baby steps.
“Well the ring is still there and we will get married one day but again, my thing is, once I get married, I don’t believe in divorce. And so when I get married, it’s for good. We want to be completely sure we’re together, we’re happy and when it’s time…”
The question now is, could that time be sooner than we think?
Hudson spoke to ESSENCE recently, and when asked about where things stood in terms of wedding planning, the star replied with “It’s been a thought obviously. It’s about timing. I am in no rush at all.”
However, she did add that after attending Ciara and Russell Wilson’s wedding in Northern England last month, and watching all of her friends tie the knot as of late, she’s feeling “inspired.”
“After being at Ciara’s wedding, I’m like, okay,” she said. “I don’t know, it inspired something. I just loved her dress. It was so beautiful. So that made me say, okay, all [of] my friends and peers are married now. You know what I mean?”
That’s still not a definitive “We have a date, ya’ll!” Still, Hudson says that when it comes to taking that next big step, “We will. It will happen.”
Thinking about the conversation that has been had over the years about Hudson and Otunga’s relationship, I wondered if one could every truly be engaged for too long. I’ve seen many people say that “that there’s no way I’m going to be engaged for that long” as outlets have continued to ask JHud about a possible wedding date, and I’ve seen her ever-changing reaction to such questions over the years. Sometimes gushing over the idea, other times, defensive in response to the inquiries. And a lot has been said about extended engagements. Experts say that when you wait quite a while to tie the knot, you’re not planting roots for the future but rather “staying in the here and now.” And the assumption is that she doesn’t really want to marry him, because, well, with her money and flexible schedule after all this time, why wouldn’t she have gone ahead and done it?
But really, when you think about the conversation, it’s interesting that there’s one being had about someone waiting to get married after being engaged, when it’s usually a chat about people getting married too soon. You simply can’t make folks happy. Taking the time to really learn one another and seeing if you’re truly a good fit not only during the good times but during the bad is actually a really good thing. Better to figure that out early rather than to have regrets (and have to split assets and give up spousal support) down the line. Plus, considering all that Hudson has gone through in her life, including losing her mother and brother at the hands of her sister’s husband, that may also play a role in her decision to take baby steps to really know what Otunga is all about.
So, after some thought, and knowing how hectic all this wedding ish really is (go to the courthouse, ladies), I don’t think one can really be engaged for too long. As long as both parties know where they stand with one another and one isn’t leading the other on a long road trip to nowhere, why not? And despite the lack of nuptials over these last eight years, when you really check out these two together, along with their son David Otunga, Jr., they still look very much in love.
So with that being said, continue to do you, Jenn. We’re rooting for the couple either way.