What To Do When Your Partner Is Bad With Finances

July 29, 2016  |  
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Money problems are one of the top reasons people get divorced or split up. While couples who are really happy together can make it through times when money is tight, no couple can survive a relationship where both people involved handle and view money completely different. It’s hard not to take it personally if your partner mishandles money. Even if you don’t share a bank account yet, when you and your partner are serious, you know that someday you might. So his inability to properly handle money can come back to haunt you. But talking about money is uncomfortable. And, if we are honest, most men do not like being told how to handle their money because of some deep-down idea that they should protect the household. So while it’s uncomfortable, here’s how to deal if your partner is irresponsible about finances.

Corbis Images

Corbis Images

Get on autopay whenever possible

First of all, use autopay to your advantage. If your partner consistently forgets to pay bills, put whatever you can on autopay. There’s no need to make things harder than they need to be. And, the very fact that your partner’s negligence makes you do this could be a sign to him that he needs to clean up his act.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Or, handle the bills yourself

If there are some companies that don’t allow for autopay, take those bills into your own hands. You can’t afford to let a partner’s forgetfulness cause you to be in debt. Again, seeing that his habits force you to do a lot of the work might shine some light on the realities of his negligence.

Image sCorbis

Image sCorbis

But show him the bills

Don’t leave your partner in the dark about bills. If you have charts and graphs that show how much you, as a couple, spend monthly and yearly, show him those. He may just be ignorant—but not careless.

Corbis

Corbis

Introduce him to financially responsible friends

Men are competitive by nature. If you bring your partner around a couple who has several investment funds, a vacation home, and a new entertainment system, your partner might want to ask them questions about how they got there.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Talk to a financial advisor

Go to a session with a financial advisor, and bring your partner. A financial advisor is a mediator; she is a professional in the matters of money. And she can explain your partner’s mistakes to him so you don’t have to. It can help maintain some peace in your relationship.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Take a money management class together

Attend an evening class on money management together. You could probably use a refresher course on it, and there could be new trends in the markets that you don’t know about.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Watch a financial show together

There are a lot of engaging and entertaining programs about money management. Sometimes the medium is the most important way to put the message out there; maybe you need to find a way to make managing your  finances attractive to your partner.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Show him some shocking figures

Some people just don’t notice how eating dinner out each night, or buying a round of drinks for friends every weekend adds up. If you show your partner that if he just packed his own lunch, he could buy a plane ticket to visit his family, he may start thinking about his habits more.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Get to the emotional root of the problem

Overspending is often just a symptom of a deeper problem. Some people overspend because they grew up extremely poor, and are worried that one day they’ll wake up with no money again (ironically, they’re setting themselves up for that to happen). Many people shop as a way to cover up internal pain and insecurities. If you only treat the symptoms and not the problem your partner’s habits can’t change.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Take the rein on savings and investments

If you’re really worried about your financial future as a couple, try this; just ask your partner to hand you a small check towards an investment each month. It could be as little as $75 or up to several hundred, depending on his financial situation. Every month, put that money in a savings fund, with your own money.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Find small, easy ways to save

There are probably ways you can help with money saving around the house. If you send your partner to buy things at the grocery store, just ask him to go to the 99 cents store instead. Find coupons he can use. Make more dinners at home at the beginning of the week so you aren’t tempted to order takeout.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Agree on a financial reward

Agree, as a couple, on something you’ll buy together if you put aside a certain amount of money. Maybe if you put aside $3,000 by the end of the year, you agree to spend $400 on a weekend getaway.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Tell him it feels personal

If your partner loves you, then it will be hard for him to stay ignorant when you tell him he’s hurting you. Tell him that, when he mishandles money, it feels like he is mishandling your relationship.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

Tell him what you’re worried about

Tell him the real concerns you have. Maybe you haven’t laid it out there. Tell him you’re worried that you won’t be able to afford to buy a bigger place if you have a child. Tell him you’re worried that you won’t have good enough credit to own a home one day.

Shutterstock

Shutterstock

Tell him a horror story

Don’t be shy about telling him some horror stories. There are plenty of couples who were on top of the world, and lost everything including their relationship because of mishandled money.

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