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Dating isn’t hard; loving yourself is hard. You see millions of people on dating sites, at speed dating events, going to match makers, and they’re completely wasting their time because they haven’t done their personal work yet. If you’re not clear on who you are, you can’t possibly be clear on what you need in a partner. Too many people make the mistake of changing from the outside in—of adapting to their partners, and changing with the changing tides of their relationships. But if you operate like that, every relationship will end in disaster because, ultimately, your true self will want to break through, and all of the facades and lies that upheld your relationship will fall apart. Learning to love truly yourself might be difficult, but once you do it, dating will be easy. Here are eight personal issues you need to address before dating again.

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