Is An Open Marriage The Way To Make It Last Forever? Mo’Nique Says Yes
Comedienne and Oscar winning actress Mo’Nique has always been loyal to her truth. Whether it is about her weight loss, the politics of Hollywood she refuses to participate in, or her relationship, all questions are answered with candor and no stone left unturned.
Promoting their new podcast, Open Relationship, Mo’Nique and her husband Sidney Hicks set the record straight on a recent episode of “The Preachers,” a new daytime talk show featuring prominent men of the cloth.
When asked how their open marriage works, the first to speak is Sidney. “We’re always open to conversation…”
It has been oft-assumed that the concept of an open marriage was an idea of Sidney’s, Mo’Nique’s husband. “It was my idea,” Mo’Nique proclaims. “I’m an entertainer. This is my best friend, ever. And what I did not want to do is be dishonest with my best friend. There may be times I want to be with other men and my best friend said to me, ‘Mama, I’ve loved you since the 10th grade. Do you think the idea of you being with another man is gonna have anything to do with me loving you?! You know if you can be with other men I can be with other women’.” Essentially, this dialog was the beginning of their honest-and open-compromise.
A 2011 study by the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University concluded men and women equally cheat in their relationships. Out of 1000 people, 23 percent of men and 19 percent of women indicated that have sexually stepped out of their current relationship. In a nutshell, the general consensus was that both men and women cheat for a lack of their needs being met. The most popular result for men to cheat was variance and women, performance. Almost all parties showed a semblance of regret for their infidelities. However, the cause for remorse wasn’t morality, religion, or marital status; but their partner’s feelings.
What does this study and Mo’Nique’s appearance on “The Preachers” mean? First, something that we all have known: no one person can satisfy all of one’s needs. No one is perfect. Marriage and/or a partnership of any kind are rooted in trust and acceptance. We often sacrifice some of what we want for the bigger picture: the person we love. People have been cheating in relationships for as long as people have been getting married. In 2016, everyone has more options and it is becoming more and more socially acceptable for women to have their cake and eat it, too.
The second part of this perplexing quandary is that if both men and women are wired this way, why aren’t more people having this conversation? An open relationship may not be for everyone, but in this day and age, it’s a conversation worth having.
One of the hosts of “The Preachers” asked Mo’Nique and Sidney how this coincides with their biblical views that “the bedroom is sacred for man and wife.” Sidney answers: “Who am I to tell her what she can and cannot do? And if I do…is there not a possibility a possibility that she could do it anyway?” As if she knows exactly what her husband is about to say, Mo’Nique chimes in, “And that is called cheating.”
Since their open relationship is rooted in honesty, anything outside of that would be considered infidelity to Mo’Nique and Sidney. For these two, that seems to keep the sanctity of their bedroom intact.
Is this something that I would personally practice? In theory, it’s a possibility. I could and would have a conversation with a partner of mine about this primarily to first gauge their needs, and then my own. My sentiments are that no matter how good the sex may be, eventually we may need or want to try something else. It could be good for both of us to venture out from time to time and come back with something new for each other. While I am more than confident in my abilities, the idea of someone else doing my job better than I can miiiiight bruise my ego a little bit. For all I know, my significant other could have the same concern. Talking that out, some semblance of reassurance, negotiation, and compromise to meet each other’s needs could make us both happy.
…Or she could just say “Hell no,” and because I’d rather spend my life with just her, I’m cool with it.