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When you’re on your first few dates with someone, it’s normal that you both want a drink or two to loosen up. Even if you don’t need alcohol to relax around a total stranger with whom you’re hoping to fall in love (pressure, much?), alcohol is still a big part of a lot of dates. Your restaurant probably has a special on sangria pitchers or some fun whiskey flight paired with a cheese board. You also want to see the best in your date, because your friends say you’re too critical. For these reasons, it can be hard to spot a man with a drinking problem within the first few dates. But you want to walk away from a relationship with an alcoholic before you’re too invested because any sort of addict cannot fully emotionally support another human being until he’s kicked his own problem. Here are 20 early warning signs that your date is an alcoholic.

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