Your kids just did or said something that has your feeling like you are about to flip out. Don’t do it, though. Relax, take a deep breath and wait. Although parenting is hard and most people get that, there is no excuse for managing a behavior problem in a way that will do your child more harm than good.
Most moms, myself included, have a lot going on. And it always seems like your kids push you to the limit on the days that have you stressed out beyond belief. It’s ridiculous how it often works out, but that’s just one of the parts of parenthood we have to deal with.
So what do you do when your kids have you so upset you just want to spaz out? How do you keep cool?
Do you grab a glass of wine to help you calm down? Do you grab a cup of coffee to take the edge off and give yourself the energy to deal with them? Do you start screaming and basically make them pay for all the crap that’s been stressing you out all week?
I hope you don’t do any of those things. Sure, we all have our moments and it’s part of life, but those moments should not become our norm. Here are a few healthier ways to help you keep your cool when your kids are about to send you over the edge. I hope they help.
Call a mommy friend. When you know your child has brought you to your breaking point and you can feel the anger rising, take the time to call another mom who gets you. Chances are they have been in the same space before, and they can help you calm down. As mothers we have to be able to pause before we act, because reacting purely out of anger can lead to regret. No one understands that more than another mom.
Go workout. A good workout can help you clear your mind, calm down, and gain perspective. If you are able to walk away from the situation and leave your child with their dad or another trusted adult, do just that. Take a walk or run, or maybe even hit the gym. Doing something for yourself that will get your blood pumping (in a good way) and get you away from you initial emotions is a very good thing.
Work on something you enjoy. It really doesn’t matter what it is, just find something that makes you happy and walk away from the kids. If you love to cook, go cook a meal. Baker? Then bake a cake. You enjoy writing? Pull out the laptop. Just try to redirect your focus until you are calm, have seen things from all perspectives, and are ready to disciple your child with a clear mind—not from a place of anger.
Meditate. Meditation is a great way to just relax and access a peaceful place. We love our children so much that when they do something wrong, we aren’t always prepared to address it properly. There are tons of meditation apps, like Calm, that can help you relax in just minutes. Take a bathroom break and use a meditation app to get your mind right.
Give yourself some space. You know how we give kids a time-out to help them relax and gain perspective about what they just did wrong? Well sometimes adults also need a time-out before they can address a situation in the best possible way. Tell your kids that mommy needs a minute and just allow yourself to be still for a while. Think about all your options, think about the real results that will come from each option, and make a decision.
Moms, what other healthy tips do you have for keeping your cool when your kids are driving you nuts?
Martine Foreman is a life coach, freelance writer, lifestyle blogger, and speaker. To learn more about her work and get great tips on how to create a life you love, check her out at CandidBelle.