Is The Tradition Of The Father Of The Bride Paying For The Wedding In Or Out?

June 18, 2016  |  

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As we all know, weddings cost a pretty coin, totaling over $30,000 on average.

On yesterday’s (June 17) episode of The Real, the co-hosts asked whether or not fathers of the bride should still pay for the wedding during Girl Chat. For many of us, we remember this sentiment as a tradition rooted in customs —some of which are no longer relevant, some are dependent upon the couple. So, who should pick up the tab?

As always, the ladies had varying opinions on who should open up their wallet. Adrienne shared that if the wedding you want exceeds what your father may have, you should totally fund it yourself. She also noted that traditionally, since the groom buys the rings, the brides family is expected to pay for the wedding. Tamar was shocked asking, “Since when?!” Jeanie divulged that the family that can afford it should pay for it, continuing that when she got married her husband’s family paid for the entire wedding. Jeanie’s mother then held a separate Vietnamese wedding, which she cited to be inexpensive. Tamara explained that for her wedding everyone chipped in, including herself, her husband, her husband’s parents, and a few others. “I truly believe whoever can afford it and whoever wants to pay for it they can. But I’m old school y’all. I do love tradition side, like if both families could afford it and the dad really wants to give that money to his daughter, go for it. I think it’s really beautiful and sweet,” she added.

“Or if you’re a father and want to help, just do want you can,” added Loni. “Like if you like to dance, pay for the band. If you like to eat, pay for the food. If you like to drink, pay for the open bar, please!”

Interestingly, they also revealed that a new study actually found that only 18% of couples parents pay for their weddings, funding it themselves.

Personally, as times change and we’ve witnessed women become the breadwinners and family dynamics change, it’s okay to stray away from so-called tradition. And honestly, not everyone’s paper is long to fund a $30,000-plus wedding, at least not a single person. Like the ladies of The Real concluded, I’d totally be fine with healthy contributions from family members with making my big day special. As a bride, of course, it would be great to have someone funding everything, but for myself, it just doesn’t seem realistic as of now.

What are your thoughts?

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