What A Group Date Can Teach You About A Guy
Some dating experts might say that group dates are a cop out—that the only real way to get to know somebody is one on one. They also might say that if a guy suggests a group date, he might be insecure or self-conscious about his abilities to carry a conversation alone with you for several hours. But group dates can actually be rather eye-opening. The truth is that you don’t really know a person until you see them around other people. Think about all of the one-on-one dates you’ve had with guys who you thought were awesome, and then you saw those guys talk to a server, a bartender, or a cab driver and thought, “Oh my gosh this human is awful.” Well, instead of waiting for these circumstances to occur so that you can see a man’s true colors, organize a group date. How does a guy react to being around several different and new personalities? How does he focus when a lot is going on? What’s he like around other men? Those are just some of the things you can learn about a guy on a group date.
Can he pay attention to you in a group?
Some guys are great in one-on-one settings but take them to a party, and they leave you in the dust. They’re such mega social butterflies with a hint of OCD that they forget to even ask you if you need a drink.
Is he even social?
You may find that the guy resists the idea of a group date. Maybe he doesn’t really like other people. Maybe he isolates himself, only talks to you, and ignores everybody else. That’s off putting.
Does he include everyone in conversation?
If he notices that one person is left out of the conversation, does he make a point to include them? That’s a sign of a true gentleman who is also socially aware and empathetic.
Is he condescending at all?
If your date is a CEO and somebody else at the table is a server or bartender, does he speak to them and pay them equal attention as everybody else? Does he ask them questions about their work, acknowledging that every person’s experiences are valid—whether they’re a CEO or an assistant? Or does he only take an interest in people he perceives as powerful?
Does he need to be the center of attention?
How does he handle the group dynamic? Does he constantly have to have the attention? Is he always speaking the loudest, and telling the craziest story, and standing in the middle? That could be the sign of a narcissist.
Is he assertive?
On the flip side, does he perhaps not insert himself at all in group settings? Does he become overwhelmed and shy? Does he sit in the corner, and never speak up? That’s indicative of self-confidence issues.
How does he handle large bills?
If a giant, messy bill arrives (which is prone to happen on group dates) does he get really uptight about everybody paying the exact amount they owe, down to the cent? Or does he have the foresight to understand it’s better to pay a few extra dollars than create tension?
What does he do if somebody can’t pay?
Here’s a real test of a true gentleman: if somebody comes up short, does he offer to help cover them? Or does he leave for the bathroom or change the subject, hoping that somebody else helps?
How is he with other women around?
Is he able to focus on you and not flirt with other women? Or does he get a little distracted by the presence of other women? What if another woman is coming onto him—what does he do then?
Does he have any masculinity issues?
If you put a man in a situation where other men could be perceived as competition, you learn a lot about his masculinity. Does he feel the need to prove it, by humiliating or arguing with the other men? Or is he secure in it?
How is he if another man talks to you?
What does he do if another man is talking a little too much to you? You’ll learn pretty quickly whether or not a man has jealousy issues if you go on a group date.
Can he put work aside for an hour?
Want to know if he’s a workaholic? See if he can leave work off the topic table when other men are around. He might get into networking mode when careers come up.
Does he have to do what he wants to do?
When it comes to choosing the date activity, is he pushy about doing what he wants? Or does he realize that it’s about the company and not the activity?
Can he go with the flow?
If one person is taking a long time to finish his meal, which means you’ll all be late to a show, does he become impatient, or can he go with the flow?
Does he make an effort with your friends?
If you brought friends on the date, does he make an effort with them? Does he try to get to know them? You want a partner who believes in investing in your friends, as well as you.