Who Knows Best When It Comes To Dating? Moms Or Matchmakers

May 26, 2016  |  

Carmelia Ray, myxtv.com

Matchmaker Carmelia Ray, myxtv.com

Does mother really know best?

Every Tuesday night at 8/7 central on Myx TV viewers are tuning in to watch Mom vs. Matchmaker, a new series putting moms to the test in realm of love and romance. Here’s a clip from the show:


Pretty interesting right?!

MommyNoire recently sat down with star and host of the show Carmelia Ray, an online dating and matchmaker expert. Over the past twenty years, Carmelia has personally interviewed over 60,000 singles and helped over 7,000 clients with their search to finding that someone special. 

Now Carmelia is taking her expertise to television and helping audiences’ nationwide battle mommy dearest in the search for true love.

Mommynoire: So Carmelia, how did you become a matchmaker?

Carmelia: I wish I could say I dreamt about being a matchmaker as a kid, because that would be a cool story. {Laughs} However, in 1992, there was a company called Together Dating services that was hiring for a telemarketing position to work for this matchmaking company. I had an ex-boyfriend that started working in this call center and thought of me. He called me and said, “Hey, do you want to work at a dating service?” And I was like what the heck is a dating service? I had no idea that these things even existed. Well they are matchmakers; they match people together, and they were looking for someone to work in their call centers. I booked appointments for single people curious about matchmaking. That was my job. There was actually a physical call center. There were over 50 people in this call center that responded to single people curious about matchmaking. This is pre-online dating… This was brand new. It was a perfect fit for me, because I loved helping people.

Where was this company located?

Together Dating back in 1992 had 184 franchises across North America and the UK. In that time frame, as a young person climbing my matchmaking ladder, I’ve been able to work in California, New York, New Jersey. I toured around all over the country talking to singles everywhere. No matter where I went geographically, no matter the demographic or age, people had the same challenges. And obviously {these challenges} had to deal meeting the right people, not a lot of time, attracting the wrong people, and not having dating skills. I mean coaching today is huge. Coaching and matchmaking I think really go hand-in-hand.

I found that as part of the show in Mom vs. Matchmaker, matchmaker— part of our edge against mom and mom against me is training our daters. It’s not just about finding the right person, but it’s really about grooming them and getting them ready to be successful in their date. It is one thing to put someone in front of another person, it is another thing to give him or her the skills and teach them proper dating etiquette. There is something to be said about that part of the show, which I really really enjoy. I enjoy taking someone through that process and giving them new skills, new tools, or refreshers on how they should be or act or what they should say. Not as a robot, but just to give them that extra confidence that they were lacking in.

Can you speak more about what gives you the edge over the moms?

Clearly, my experience. Moms are tough competitors. I did not raise these kids, so certainly the advantage mom has and the mother knows best analogy is that mom… had anywhere from 21 to 27 years with this child having the experience of knowing. My advantage is that I don’t need to live with someone for 23 years to be able to ask the right questions and get to the bottom of what they are looking for in a partner. Professional matchmaking is a skill. Professional matchmaking is a process, and I ask the right questions, focus on what matters, and I ask them who is the person that they are looking for. The edge that I have is that sometimes who mom thinks who they need and whom they should be with is not always in line with whom the kids want and whom the kids think they should be with. So there is some type of conflict there. I am a mom too, so the person I’d like my daughter to be with will have a different set of criteria than the person she wants to be with or who she ends up with. The edge that I have is that I can be completely objective.

What’s the score now, Mom vs. Matchmaker?

Let’s just say it’s a stiff competition and my answer to that is to watch the show. I did not when them all.

We’d love to hear your stories Who would you trust more in your quest for love, your mom or a matchmaker? Share your stories in the comments.


Clarissa Joan is a spiritual life coach and editor-in-chief of The Clarissa Joan Experience. She resides in Philadelphia with her husband, their two girls, and a yorkie named Ace. Clarissa is also an expert in impact investing.

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