“I Felt Like My Body Failed Me” Melanie Fiona On Her Birth Story And Postpartum Feelings
As you may remember, singer Melanie Fiona gave birth to a son, she named Cameron Lincoln, this past March. Throughout her pregnancy, she kept a vlog detailing her experiences. So naturally, after her son was born, people wanted her to share her birth story. And in the video below, she finally does just that. But it wasn’t without much thought and contemplation. Turns out, her actual birthing journey did not go according to plan. In fact, it was the complete opposite of everything she wanted for herself.
While she would have been happy to deliver at home, Melanie’s boyfriend, fellow singer Jared Cotter, insisted on a hospital. Still, she had no intention on using drugs or having surgery to deliver. But it took both of those things to deliver her child safely. And in her most recent vlog, “It’s Time To Tell The Truth,” Melanie talks about the feelings she experienced during her labor and once she brought her child home.
Check out a few excerpts from the video and then watch the whole thing below.
On her boyfriend convincing her that, against her wishes, she would have to have a c- section. He told her:
“‘I have to leave the hospital with both of you.’ Until that moment, I didn’t realize how severe my situation was.”
“In retrospect I realized that I was already a mother, that I would have risked my life for Cameron’s.”
Once she got home.
“Post baby that was a whole other set of emotions that I was not prepared for.”
Melanie realized that she was not going to be able to “jump back into the life that I thought that [she] was going to be able to jump back into.”
“Life just kind of said, hold on.”
Hormones and feelings
“I wouldn’t say that I was as far as depressed. But I was really trying to understand what happened.”
“There was almost a moment of numbness where I felt like someone gave him to me and was like, ‘Here’s this baby. Take care of it.’ I was disconnected from the whole process.”
“I had to deal with feelings of disappointment and feeling like a failure. That sounds so crazy because how could I even look at this beautiful child and feel like I failed. But I felt my body failed me.”
“It’s still taking me time to process who I am now and who I’m becoming. And I just think that’s something that we don’t talk about now.”
“I’m looking at myself now with completely new eyes, trying to understand who I am. What is this new body? Who is this new woman? who is this new mother?”
“Everyday I just try to be honest with myself and forgive myself and be patient. And I look at my beautiful son and I don’t regret any of it. I don’t regret a thing. I would do it all over again.”
“If it’s one thing that I can say that I learned clearly throughout my whole pregnancy is the feeling and the word, the true meaning of having to surrender.”
“Women need to know that you have to talk about it. You have to be willing to share.”
“I am thrilled about being a mother. Cameron is the most amazing, amazing child.”
Weight Loss and Comparison to other women
“I put on 74 pounds. That’s like carrying around another person. I didn’t know how small I was. I didn’t know what type of body I had before. I never put so much value on it until my body changed and then post baby body, I’m looking at myself like ‘I’ve never seen my body like this.’”
“I’ve learned that if I allow myself to compare my story, my journey, my child, my growth and evolution as a woman to any other woman out there, to compare it, I will be losing the joy that I should be feeling in my process.”
Preach the word Melanie!
You can watch her full vlog in the video below.