Ways We All Get Lazy About Beauty When We Get A Man
It’s not that you don’t care how you look in front of your partner. It’s just that, when you’re together all of the time, hiding your 100% aux-natural appearance from him becomes impossible. You can’t go to bed and wake up all made up. You can’t go to the gym together, sweat like crazy, and somehow walk out of there looking ready for brunch. To keep up appearances, you need time apart from your partner. But after a while—especially once you live together—you don’t get that time apart, and so you just can’t keep up the charade. What are you supposed to do? Make your partner go to sleep before you turn off the lights,and make him promise not to peek once you’ve taken your makeup off? Come on. At that point, it’s better to look a little less-than-glamorous than to look crazy in an effort to always look perfect. So here are 15 ways all women get lazy about their beauty routine when they’re in a long-term relationship.
Doing our roots
He knows by now that you weren’t born with blonde highlights and auburn lowlights. He knows. You can’t sneak out the door to go to the hair salon, and when he asks, “Where are you headed?” say, “Nowhere!” That sounds suspicious. So, if he knows, then, why spend $170 every two months on your roots?
Doing our hair
Speaking of hair, you used to do yours just to stay in and watch TV with your guy. But now that you’re always together, if you’ve both been home all day doing chores, you’re not going to do your hair to continue to stay home and order takeout. Not happening. Hair-dos are for the outdoors now.
Doing our bangs
If you have bangs that need to be blow dried and flattened, they stay in bobby pins on top of your head unless something fancy comes up. If there isn’t a reservation and a cloth napkin involved, you’re not doing your bangs.
Shaving our legs
You and your man have your routine now when it comes to sex. He doesn’t spend all of that time pretending to admire your legs, rubbing his hands up and down them. He goes straight for the gold. So you stop shaving as much.
Shaving our va-jay-jays
Since you’ve been together for a while, you don’t have sex every day anymore. So you’re not going to attempt the tedious task of va-jay-jay shaving every day, just to have sex twice a week. You’ll shave when you have time, and hopefully, that day matches up with the day you have sex.
Putting on a bra
Bras, like good hairdos, are reserved for leaving the apartment. It does not matter if you nip out in front of your partner. He’s put his mouth on your nipples. All bets are off.
Putting on a thong
If your partner gets to see your naked butt walking around all of the time, he doesn’t care how it looks covered up in clothes. So you wear your granny panties loud and proud under your skinny jeans.
Covering up blemishes
You need to wash your face in the morning and at night. You can’t tell your partner just to go away until you’ve done your makeup. So, he’s seen your zits and your sun spots. And if he’s seen them, and still thinks you’re gorgeous, why waste your time with expensive, time-consuming concealer?
Meh. He never noticed anyways. And it’s a painful task. Eyebrow plucking is one of the first things to go. Or at least to taper off.
Wearing cute workout clothes
You already wear your enormous old college t-shirts and sweatpants to sleep with your man. He knows that you own those. So why waste any more money on cute workout clothes?
Covering up dark circles
For what? To pretend you’re not exhausted? Your man knows you’re exhausted. He was up with you until 2 am drinking PBRs and binge watching Fear the Walking Dead.
Rotating our clothes
Remember when you used to spend a half hour putting together the most well-thought-out outfit? You couldn’t stand having your man see you in the same item of clothing twice in one month. You’ve since learned he does not notice what you wear. So you’re sticking to the comfy classics.
He has seen you naked in broad daylight so many times now. To suddenly look two sizes smaller under clothes would just seem bizarre to him.
Ditch the Waist trainers
Waist trainers, like Spanx, go out the window after you’ve been with a man for a while. It’s just awkward to take these off for sex or to walk around the apartment, cleaning the floors in them.