Keeping it Honest with Online Friends
I’ll admit it: I’m one of those social networkers.
With Facebook, Twitter and Google+ constantly humming, I’m sure I’d qualify to participate in any study of people who socially network a tad too much; it serves as a sizable damn distraction to the point where I need to leave my iPhone in another room and cut off the internet if I really need to get work done.
Since I have about 800 Facebook friends, it should serve as no surprise that I’m connected to many folks dwelling on the margins of my life –- folks I’ve met but might not even recognize if they were at a distance on the street. Many of my Facebook friends I haven’t seen in person since I started sprouting pubes, and a small handful I’ve never actually met in person. Most normal mofos don’t have a tenth of that many friends in real life, which, I think, is perfectly healthy.
An issue I didn’t consider heavily before recently is that I’m in a relationship. My woman has her Facebook page, but it’s nowhere near as comprehensive or detailed as mine. Moreeover, she doesn’t have internet-only relationships and fails to see their purpose.
As you might imagine, this is an issue when it comes to my lady friends online. But because I have nothing to hide, it’s not a problem when all is said.
In general, try not to hide what you’re doing online from your partner. Don’t lock up the computers in the crib via password or keep any actual accounts from your partner. It will engender mistrust when she inevitably finds out about your hidden OkCupid.com account and puts powdered glass in your fruit smoothie.
Also, don’t make it seem like the men or women are offering you something online that you can’t get from your partner. It’s easy for me because anyone who is friends with me on Facebook sees enough corny Isht to know that I’m in a happy relationship, but some of y’all keep these Anthony Weiner-esque relationships going. If your partner finds out you’ve had any significant ongoing contact with a “random” digital amigo of the opposite sex that they knew nothing about, all kinds of light brown, watery Shyte will hit the fan.
I think people in a relationship can have relationships with the opposite sex, digitally and otherwise. It’s all about being as overt as possible and validating the irreplaceable nature of your partner with them.
The moment you do start seeking something from a digital buddy while in a relationship, you’re dealing with a whole ‘nother set of problems.