Practical Tips For Surviving These Common Pre-Wedding Arguments

April 13, 2016  |  

When planning to tie the knot, the last thing that you want to be doing is fighting with your honey. Unfortunately, the overwhelming nature of wedding planning can sometimes leave you at odds with your partner. You won’t always share the same attitudes or preferences, which means compromise will play a major role in navigating wedding planning-related arguments.

Luckily for stressed brides everywhere, sex and relationship therapist Marissa Nelson came through with some practical tips on how to navigate some of those uncomfortable pre-wedding arguments that may arise during the engagement period—including money-related disagreements, meddlesome in-laws, and unreliable relatives.

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When you can’t see eye-to-eye on the budget

When I hear engaged couples that have a hard time agreeing on a budget, what it often comes down to is differences of expectations about how the money should be spent, and the vision for the wedding. One person may say that because this is a once in a lifetime celebration, it is okay to have a larger budget or indulge, while the other may be arguing that it is only one day, and the money should be spent on things the couple can enjoy long-term, such as the honeymoon, down payment on a house, etc.

Remember, you are preparing for a marriage, and while planning for the day to celebrate with your loved ones is important, how you handle this hurdle will foreshadow how you handle conflict in the future. Both partners have to be open to communicating what is important to them and what their priorities are for how they spend their money. As an exercise, couples should write down their top 3 areas of budget priority to them for the wedding, and have a discussion about what meaning it holds to spend money on those items. No criticizing the other person for what is important to them, or getting defensive either. The goal is to bridge the gap to find solutions that work for both visions of their special day. There also has to be some generous giving on both ends as this day is supposed to be a reflection of the couple, so compromising is key.

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