Is This Petty? After Four Years And A Baby, He Still Won’t Post Pictures Of Me On His Social Media

March 25, 2016  |  

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We’ve talked in the past about how petty it is or isn’t to allow social media happenings to put a dent in your relationship. But who are we kidding? It’s 2016, and social media plays a significant role in the way we communicate and operate. Therefore, it’s no surprise that our habits online can affect our companions.

For instance, we received a message in the MN email from a woman wondering whether or not she was overreacting for being bothered by her long-term boyfriend’s failures to share images of her, or even of them together, on his social media. Specifically, his Instagram. “We’ve taken studio family photos together that I’ve posted on Instagram and Facebook. But when I go to his pages, he doesn’t put them up,” she said. “It would be one thing if he didn’t really use his accounts like that, but he posts random sh-t almost daily. It’s disrespectful.”

She went on to say that he might share an image of her if they’ve taken a photo with his friends or with members of his family at special events (a.k.a., group photos), but nothing about them as a couple, no pictures of their child, no birthday shoutouts or anniversary love. She doesn’t get it.

She has asked him why he, in her mind, tries to hide her and their daughter, but he just says that he doesn’t want to put too much of his private life out there. The way he sees it, not only is it no one’s business, but it could be “dangerous.”

I mean, not everyone is a big fan of putting their children out there or their spouses. But there’s something weird about that when you’re willing to expose so much else about yourself. Could he be attempting to paint a single image of himself?

But a lot of people do it. Like famous rappers for instance. Despite having had a television show featuring his wife and kids, T.I. rarely posts any pictures of Tiny. Out of all those images from their baby shower, he only posted one on Instagram, and it was of himself with Tiny and all their children. And that maternity shot Tiny shared last week? He didn’t put it up.

And then there’s Fabolous, who we all know is in a relationship with Emily Bustamante. And we are aware from her time on Love and Hip Hop that it took him forever to claim her publicly. And yet, after two kids, years together and more, he also rarely shares images of himself with her. And when he does, the captions are aimed more at those who question the lopsided nature of their relationship, than they are about her and his love and affection for her.

Maybe Tip and Fab are just trying to hold on to the image they try and convey in their music, which is that they’re available. But considering that we all know good and well they’re not, and that they post multiple times a day on social media, it’s always been a little weird that the leading ladies in their lives aren’t really featured on their accounts.

In everyday life, though, some men just aren’t that open about a lot of personal stuff, and I can understand that. Not every woman is sharing a picture of her significant other consistently either. Some people just don’t believe that type of stuff needs to be put on public display for folks to see and pick apart. And maybe, in the minds of those who keep their personal relationships out of public view, it’s more important that a significant other knows that they’re part of the bigger picture than to hold so much value in being front and center in an Instagram picture. So what I’m trying to say is no, I don’t think this situation is worth questioning your relationship over. Because it’s important for those who matter to know who you love, not the world.

However, it is interesting when only one party in a relationship is open, publicly that is, about the love they have for the other. Of course, that doesn’t mean the other party doesn’t love them too, or is living foul. But it sucks that the person who has held you down, and in this woman’s case, brought your child into the world, can’t get some acknowledgement. And yet, your car, your new shoes, and the errands you run, can…

#noshadenotea

But as always, that’s just my opinion. Is it petty that he doesn’t post pictures of her on social media? Or is it petty that she’s upset by it?

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