By Sujeiry Gonzalez
“Do I have to go?” my fiancé asked me.
“It’s our baby shower, I want you to come,” I replied.
He huffed and puffed before mumbling “fine,” and something about how baby showers are for women and how bored he’ll be. I quickly remind him that in the Latino culture baby showers are co-ed, and overflowing with booze and food. My uncles are expecting an invite. My male cousins will show up. It’s what’s expected of me and I like it that way.
“It’s not going to be a traditional American baby shower,” I convinced. There’d be no baby shower games, outrageous mom-to-be hat and chair, or hours filled with opening presents and “ooh-ing” and “ah-ing.”
“You know how much I hate opening presents in front of people.” I reminded him. “It’ll be like a party with friends and family – only I can’t drink.”
His eyes lit up at the mention of “party.” Like most men, he’d rather partake in guy time – drinking, talking sports, and eating hamburgers and hot dogs off the grill – rather than guessing the diameter of my growing belly and coloring onesies. But a baby shower doesn’t have to lean toward the conventional or traditional. In fact, there are baby showers just for dads. Yes, a man shower – a male-only baby shower where beer and chicken wings abound and rough-housing takes place.
And it’s all the rage. Just last year the search for the term “man showers” on Pinterest increased by 149 percent. Dads want to celebrate their baby’s arrival too. Just with men.
What happens at a Dad Shower? Guests play games and bring gifts – only the games are messier and manly. A popular game is “The Changing Challenge” where men compete to change a fake baby’s diaper. The need to win leads to fun. Another is “What’s in the Diaper?” You melt different types of candy bars in the microwave and pour the liquid into numbered diapers. You know, so it resembles baby poop. The fellas smell the diaper (the more adventurous guys dip their finger in and take a lick) and they guess the candy bar. And, of course, there’s “Baby Bottle Drink Off” where guys chug beer from baby bottles ’cause…men.
Dad showers sound like so much fun I might need to crash one.
As for the gifts, dudes bring the dad-to-be tools, knee pads and baby books. Anything that will help them raise their baby and aid them in building the crib, swing, bouncer – and taking on other dad projects. Wait, no gifts for the actual baby? Uh, selfish!
So, that’s a Dad Shower in a nutshell. Get comfortable with it as the trend is here to stay. Actually, this may be a relief for some moms-to-be as many still want a traditional baby shower. Women want to dish candidly on pregnancy, body image, relationships, sex, gossip and their husbands; that’s difficult to do when the guys are around. Dads also need a sacred space to vent their worries, frustrations and fears regarding fatherhood. Your guy might not be expressing and of these feelings to you, but he has them. Raising a child is serious business.
Dave knows, which is why he’s working extra hard to provide for our baby boy. He even tells me he wishes he could carry him for a day in his non-existent uterus just so he can feel him kick from the inside. So, if a daddy baby shower will help him feel like part of the process, I’m all for it! But not this time around. There’s only one baby shower, buddy – and you’re coming.
Sujeiry Gonzalez is the founder of Love Sujeiry – a brand for love and beauty – and Publisher of LoveSujeiry.com. The Rodan + Fields consultant has authored two books that help women navigate the world of dating and love (Dating RITE: Advice on Dating Woes from Your Go-to Chica and Love Trips: A Collection of Relationship Stumbles) and provides dating and beauty advice daily.