The Digit Dilemma: Should you give out your ‘number’?

July 17, 2011  |  

Ok ladies, in the words of Salt –n- Pepa, let’s talk about sex! With many of us single, dating multiple men and waiting much longer to settle down and get married it’s likely that we have had sex with more than one person. Whether you have a laundry list of names or a modest one or two, it’s your prerogative and it shouldn’t be anyone business right?

According to a recent conversation I had with a group of thirty-something old men, asking a girl for her ‘number’ may become the new norm. With the rise of HIV infection in the African American community, and the fragile male ego of having a ‘good girl’ to bring home, men are becoming less afraid to ask potential mates how many sexual partners they have had in the past. Rightfully so, both men and women should be open and honest about their health status and condition, but is it fair to share your past trysts with your new boo?

Like your age number, your sexual number can be wrongly judged and prevent an amazing relationship from happening. Think about it, if your number is too low, a guy can perceive you as inexperienced and not ready for what he has to ‘offer’; or if the number is too high you are automatically placed in the “jump off” category. A few of the men I chatted with confessed that they secretly wanted an ‘experienced’ woman that didn’t have much ‘exposure’. They wanted a lady in the streets but a freak in the bedroom type to call their own. I also learned that they are well aware that when women do share their ‘number’ they lie to protect their image. Is this true ladies?

I was partly happy that men are beginning to take their sexual health seriously by asking upfront questions to a potential lover, but there was another part of me that was weary about revealing something so personal. Is there a stigma on the quantity of partners a woman may have had? Or is it a question of quality versus quantity? If two mature adults are willing to share a life together, how much of them or their past should they really reveal? If you are STD free, should it really matter how many sexual partners you’ve had?

Ladies, would you want to know how many sexual partners your man had before you?  Would you tell your true number?

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