Would You Tell Your Partner You Dislike Your Engagement Ring?
Although many couples prepare for and discuss marriage before getting engaged, there’s typically an element of surprise involved in the actual proposal. You may know that it’s coming at some point, but you probably won’t know exactly when. Also, not every couple looks at rings together beforehand, which can sometimes leave room for disappointment on the bride’s behalf. Just take Konni* for instance. The college student recently turned to Reddit because she accidentally stumbled across the engagement ring her boyfriend, Ryan, bought for her. And well, she hates it. The problem is, before Ryan went out and purchased the ring, Konni told him that she would “love him no matter what ring” he got her. Now she’s unsure of how she should handle the situation. Konni explains:
Ryan and I have been talking about marriage for the past 6 months. We discussed how even if we got engaged, the wedding would be postponed until after we graduated college. After that was settled, Ryan told me how he was concerned that he wouldn’t be able to get me a nice ring. I assure him that I would honestly love him no matter what ring he got me because it’s true. After that, he seemed happy and the topic was laid to rest.
Well, about a week ago I was cleaning every inch of the new place—I’m a little of a germaphobe—and I stumbled upon a ring box. My heart started beating really fast and I just kind of popped it open without thinking. Well… I feel TERRIBLE saying this, but I really dislike the ring Ryan got me.. not because it isn’t expensive, but it’s basically a thick gold [men’s] wedding band. I know it’s not for him because it fits my ring finger perfectly. This really feels selfish to say, but I had sort of envisioned an incredibly simple band with maybe the tiniest little diamond on it. Hell, it wouldn’t even have to have a real diamond or gold. It’s really not about the worth; I even offered him my grandmother’s wedding ring that had pretty big diamond on it that was given to me when she passed, but he turned it down saying he wanted to get me my own.
Konni went on to say that she could find it within herself to just let it go and not mention the ring to Ryan because she doesn’t want to ruin her otherwise great relationship over a silly ring. At the same time, she wonders if there’s a good way to go about speaking to Ryan about her concerns without hurting his feelings.
I love Ryan so much and if it came down to it I would say yes if he proposed to me with a chewed up pen cap. I just pictured myself showing all my friends my little perfect dainty engagement ring. I feel so terrible.
In all honesty, I could 100% let this go if I’m really just being a selfish a–hole, but is there was anyway to bring this up kindly if he does propose?
If you were in a situation where you weren’t crazy about your engagement ring, would you speak up?