Should I Expect Him To Cheat On Me Because He Cheated On Her?

February 18, 2016  |  

Corbis Images

Corbis Images

When he was with her, he was a serial cheater. You and everyone else were fully aware of this. Eventually, she came to her senses and left him. But a few years have passed since then and he claims he’s a changed man. And well, he’s interested in you and would like you to give him a chance. Do you give him that chance because you believe that it’s possible for people to change or do you run like hell in the opposite direction?

I absolutely love “The Girl And The Snake” tale, which tells the story of a young girl who is on her way to her grandmother’s house. As she walks along the trail, she notices a snake at her feet.

“I’m so cold I’m about to die,” the snake tells her. “Please pick me up and place me inside your coat so I can warm up.”

Initially, the girl tells him no. She informs the snake that she knows what he’s capable of and that he will likely bite her if he’s given the opportunity. Of course, the snake insists that he won’t do her like that, and after awhile, the girl foolishly agrees and picks the snake up. Within seconds, she feels pain shoot through her body. The snake bit her.

“How could you do this to me?” she cried. “You promised that you would not bite me, and I trusted you!”

“You knew what I was when you picked me up,” he hissed as he slithered away.

This is exactly how I feel about getting into relationships with people who have already established reputations for showing their behinds. Unless God sends Gabriel or Michael the Archangel down from heaven to tell me that he’s a changed man, chances are I’m keeping it moving—unless I’ve witnessed evidence of this change with my own two eyes. While every situation is unique, for the most part, once someone has shown me how they move, it’s hard to remove that image from my mind. However, not everyone subscribes to this philosophy. Recently, Tokyo Vanity—you may know her as the girl from the “That’s My Best Friend” viral music video—shared a post on Facebook about why it’s unwise to turn people down based on their pasts.

Ladies and gents we have to stop judging people we wanna date off of what they did to others or what u heard…. Everyone isn’t for everybody …People act different with different people …. A man coulda dogged the girl b4 you and treat you like a queen and worship the ground you walk on…. A girl coulda been a bitch to her last man or boring with her last man but with you adventurous and treat you like a king … Relationships are what you make them … Stop X’ing people out based off what you heard and let yourself experience your own first impression and experienced with a person … Don’t miss out listening to others.

Earlier today, one of my coworkers shared the status with us and asked our thoughts on the topic. Most of us agreed that you should believe people the first time they show you how they operate. But as usual, we’d like to hear from you all as well.


Would you judge a potential partner based on how they behaved in a past relationship? Is it enough to deter you from dating them?

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