Have You Ever Been In Your Feelings Because You Weren’t Asked To Be A Bridesmaid?

February 18, 2016  |  

Corbis Images

Corbis Images

When you first learn that your best friend or close relative is getting married, sometimes, it’s almost natural to assume that you’ll be included in her wedding party. But as we all know, it doesn’t always work out this way. So what happens when you’re expecting a bridesmaid proposal, but all you get are crickets? Do you take it personally? Would it cause you to question where you stand in your relationship with this particular person? Apparently, this is the case in many situations.

“I do want this time in her life to be all about her. I don’t want to be the hurt friend who she has to console. But at the same time, after a decade of being there for her more than anyone else, I am having a hard time getting past the hurt,” one woman explained in a post shared on Baby Center after learning that her best friend of ten years didn’t ask her to be in her bridal party.

Like many in this woman’s situation, she wondered if she should speak to her friend about how she felt. On one hand, she expressed that she knew her friend had a lot on her plate at the time and didn’t want to stress her out. However, she also wanted her to know that she was hurt by her actions. The friends did eventually have a conversation, which was initiated by the bride, after a man who attends their church made an innocent comment about the woman being in her friend’s wedding. Apparently, they were so close, everyone assumed she’d be in it as well. The pair was able to resolve the issue, and they are still great friends. Although the woman admits that it’s still a sensitive subject for her, she explained that she understands why the bride chose the women she selected to be in the wedding.

“Later I came to my own understanding during this past year about why Abbey picked who she picked. She picked her two friends from childhood and a family member,” she shared. “My hurt feelings gradually lessened. It wasn’t completely easy, but it got better. Her fiancé wasn’t able to include every single one of his good friends either, and so it wasn’t just against me.”

While this story had somewhat of a happy ending, there are plenty of other instances where friendships go south behind conflicts like this one. In fact, one bride recalled a time when her friend actually went ghost on her after learning that she wasn’t in the bridal party. Not only did she completely avoid the bride afterward, she also pulled a no-show on the day of the wedding.

“What I am most angry about is the fact that she has ignored me and my emails,” the bride shared in a Wedding Bee post recounting her experience. “My rationale is this – even if she decided she didn’t want to come, which hurts, the least she could have done was take the time to respond and let me know.”


Have you ever been in a situation where you expected to be a bridesmaid but was passed over? How did you react?

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