Over the weekend, I had my first session of premarital counseling and my Pastor took half of our time together emphasizing that marriage is a lifelong commitment. Essentially, you’re taking a vow to love and stick with your partner even during those times when they’re not so lovable. He harped on the idea that even when you think you have enough reason to leave, if you actually take a moment to reflect on the vows you made way back when, you will realize that you don’t. He did, however, give one reason to immediately exit a marriage, which was abuse. But other than that, he told us that we should consider ourselves stuck with one another, like forever. Of course, it’s easy to embrace this ideology when all is well, and Bae is acting like he has some sense. But I imagine that things become more complicated when the going gets tough when your partner’s behavior leaves you wondering who the hell you married, and your home life has become less than pleasant. Still, you’re expected to stick it out.
Ironically, I was trolling the Wedding Bee message boards this morning when I came across a post from a frustrated wife who is seriously considering leaving her husband because of his poor hygiene. According to the woman, she can barely sleep next to him because of his foul body odor. It’s a fight to get him to use deodorant, and he frequently skips on showers. Apparently, he wasn’t this way when they first met, but over time, his personal hygiene habits have diminished. Anytime she confronts him about his poor hygiene; he tells her that she is experiencing PMS and overreacting. Over the years, she has tried everything from gifting him with deodorant to suggesting that they speak with a marriage counselor. Nothing seems to help, and sexually, she’s pretty turned off by him because of this issue. Unsure of what to do, she turned to the Bee for advice. Many of the women who responded to her post agreed with her decision to leave; however, some explained that they felt poor hygiene was not a good enough reason to bail on a marriage.
We all know how it feels to be in the presence of someone with foul body odor. You sort of hold your breath until you’re able to get away from the person. When you finally make it to another room, you’re practically gasping for air. And sometimes, it feels like the foul odor follows you throughout the day, almost as if the stench was so strong that your memory won’t allow you to forget it. I couldn’t imagine having to actually go home to or share a bed with this person. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine leaving someone I vowed to stick with for better or worse because his hygiene habits have dwindled.
What are your thoughts on this situation? Are poor hygiene habits grounds for divorce?