As an only child for all of my 24 years, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my solitude and being dubbed the “only child.” Nonetheless, I’ve always wondered what life would be like with siblings, even if they weren’t necessarily related by blood.
Well, for the past two years I’ve gotten my own first-hand experience of what it’s like, as my mother and her boyfriend have slowly integrated our two separate households into one. While it’s just my mother and I, her significant other has three kids: two sons in their mid to late twenties and a daughter in her mid-teens. Although we don’t all live together, we stay in contact, visit, and gather for events and family gatherings often.
However, in the past two years I’ve distanced myself from their family for personal reasons. And in my case, it was one text message that started it all.
“What’s going on with us?” my phone read around 10 p.m. It was the oldest son of my mother’s boyfriend.
“Excuse me?” I replied.
“You know,” he continued.
In my mind I thought to myself, “Yes, I know what you mean and hell no I’m not going there with you.” I refrained though. Although that incest-like text truly warranted a swear-heavy reply, I stopped myself. Confused and very much disgusted, I sat my phone back on the table and went about my night. He had never made a pass at me before and was always cordial. Actually, I remember him coming to a party with a friend and I and us all having a good time. Nothing ever seemed sketchy with him until that night. But even the last time I saw him there was nothing hinting towards flirtation. We simply made small talk about my move to New York and on his on accord his girlfriend. While I was never one for small talk, when talking to him I kept conversation topics to a minimum, discussing school and work, nothing regarding my personal life/relationships, so you’d understand my confusion.
The next day I looked at the phone again hoping that it was all a dream. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. After weeks of debating whether or not to tell my mother, for fear of making things possibly weird in her own flourishing relationship, I finally decided to tell her. “What?!” she shrieked in surprise. I ended up telling her not to worry about the situation. I had decided to simply not respond back in hopes that he got the message that “us” was not happening. Of course, being a protective and caring parent, my mom brought up the situation to her boyfriend, but he didn’t seem to think anything of it.
At this point, I’m over the situation and find it quite funny. I haven’t heard from the guy since and being that I no longer live in the same city the likelihood of me running into him is slim to none. However, I am still faced with the task of showing up for holidays or family gatherings when I am in town. This year I skipped out on stopping by their house to catch up with their family because I just wasn’t up for explaining to him that even though we’re not blood, this “thing” he thinks that could happen between us would never happen in his wildest dreams.
If you were in my situation, what would you do?