I Had To Move Back In With My Parents, And It’s Cramping My Dating Style

February 1, 2016  |  



Certain freedoms come with being a single woman who lives on her own, such as having to answer to no one if you decide to come home after hours with a guy. There’s no one all in your business when it comes to who you’re dating or messing with. You can have a guy you’re interested in sleep over without “disrespecting the household.” You can basically do whatever you want when you are the lone occupant of your home.

But I soon learned just how much my dating life would change when I made the decision to move back home with my parents. 

I was at odds with my job and wasn’t happy there, so when I made the decision to resign, I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford a cushy life on my own anymore. It seemed like the logical thing to move back home temporarily, where there was some security. But when I found myself interested in a few guys, I noticed living situations always seemed to come up in conversation. And mine, of course, wasn’t the best.  

The downside to being back home, aside from the struggle of trying to tell a guy why is my parents are nosy. So even if I was just getting to know a guy and it was nothing serious, they are always there, in my face, prying and asking questions, wondering who’s going to marry their daughter (my mom even suggested I sign up for Married at First Sight). My parents still have a hard time seeing me as an adult even though I am almost 30. To them, I’ll always be a 12-year-old girl when I’m in their home. They want to know where I am, when I’m coming home, and why I’m coming back late. Talk about cramping one’s style.

And I guess that in this hookup culture, I wasn’t able to actually hook up because of my living situation, and that made me “undatable” to some guys. It was too much of a hassle to trek it to the city every weekend for a date and then crash on friends’ couches and in spare rooms. Sleepovers were never allowed in my household as a child and certainly not as an adult–especially not with someone of the opposite sex. I mean, parents know when you’re messing with someone, but they don’t really want to go down that awkward road and have that conversation. And then there’s the issue of a lack of privacy–because there is none. There’s the risk of getting caught in the act when you thought the coast was clear. The chance of a guy being scared off by your mom and dad. And if your family is anything like mine, you run the risk of some family members asking embarrassing questions in front of your date. 

The experience hasn’t been all bad, though. It’s definitely raised my standards, because if a guy immediately wants to know where I live and if I live alone, it lets me know what his intentions are off the bat. Living at home also has encouraged creativity in my dating life, such as weekends away, getting a room, and exploring my city as if I’ve never been there before. Hey, you have to do something different when the option to ask, “Want to go back to my place?” isn’t on the table. 

With more and more adults age 25 to 34 moving back home due to economic issues, dating while living with your parents can be a complete cramp on your style. But if I’m being honest, I would say that it’s not as bad as you would think. And considering that you’re probably not paying rent in this situation, you will get over it…

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