Kudos To Brandy, Shonda And Oprah, But I Wouldn’t Be Okay With Never Getting Married

January 26, 2016  |  



On last Thursday’s episode of The Real, singer and actress Brandy Norwood served as a guest co-host and used it as an opportunity to promote her new BET series Zoe Ever After. And because the actress and singer has been vocal about her love life in the past, it was no surprise that she talked about it some more on the show. But what did shock those watching was her declaration that she never wants to get married. Like ever. 

After a sham marriage and a few failed engagements, Brandy shared that in the present day, she hasn’t dated in over a year, and she loves the single life because it’s the first time where her focus has been just on herself, her career, and her daughter. Although I am not a mother, I can certainly identify with Brandy’s need to give up on dating to just focus on the more important things in her life. Hell, I’ve met all types of strange men and have had failures that make me question why I even try anymore. Still, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I never want to get married and that I would be okay with simply being in one relationship after another or single for the rest of my life. Life is a long journey depending on how you live it, and I wouldn’t want to go through it alone without a committed partner, intimacy or romance.

Before Brandy’s statement, powerhouse women such as Oprah Winfrey and Shonda Rhimes also went on the record to say they’re okay without marriage and commitment. Most women see this as a testament to embracing themselves and knowing what they want. And while I have embraced singlehood for the last two years, I won’t lie and say that it’s for me.

I’d like to have children and build a family at some point in my life, and I can’t do that alone. Kudos to all the single parents and women who want children without the man, but that’s not how I want my life set up. I’d like to build with someone and create a legacy and set an example of a strong family dynamic for my kids.

I’d also like to share my success with someone. Sure, it’s fun when you can share in those things with your friends and crack open a bottle of bubbly or wine and toast to good fortune. But having a life partner walking through the journey with you through the highs and lows, being there when the curtain closes and the tears fall, and then celebrating with you, is different.

The way my life is currently set up, on one end of the spectrum, I can identify with Brandy and say that I am content with being single right now and focusing on my career. Somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, I’m actually afraid to not be single and to give up my freedom, not due to commitment issues, but because of said career focus. But then there’s the lonely girl on the other end of that spectrum yearning for companionship, and someone to come home to after work. On any given day, I am at a different place on the spectrum, but I know for sure that when that time comes and I meet someone worth giving up the single life for, I am not looking back. 

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