How to Handle Multiple Dating Partners

July 14, 2011  |  
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Many people who have been in relationships can agree that they are complex.  In today’s society where wild sex scandals and high profile infidelity are splashed all over the news on a regular basis, one begins to question whether monogamous relationships are still valued.

It’s becoming more popular for people to date multiple people at the same time so they can fuel their desires, and have their cake and eat it too! Men have been doing it forever and now more women are joining in the fun too with no shame at all.

Here are a few tips on how you can manage dating multiple people without the drama. Check it out!

1. Let each man you’re dating know that you’re seeing other people

Each little conquest in your book adds more fun and excitement to the mix. You’ve got one date arranged for Tuesday, another for Friday and a couple during the weekend.  However, things can become complex if you’re not clear with each person that you are not interested in an exclusive relationship at the moment.  If ever by chance you run into one guy while you’re on a date with another guy, you can feel confident that there will be no drama if everybody already knows the deal.

2. Be careful that you’re sending the right text to the right person

Be careful that you’re sending the right text to the right person. You wouldn’t want to send Boring Bradley that racy text that was meant for Thrilling Terry. Awkwaaaard. Double check before you press that send button, girl.

3. Protect yourself at all times

Let’s make something really clear here–just because you’re dating multiple people at the same time, doesn’t mean you’re having sex with multiple people at the same time.  If you do choose to have sexual relations with one or more people you’re dating, please be sure to protect yourself against disease and unwanted pregnancy. There is nothing and we mean nothing cute about being on Maury’s stage talking about you’re 1000% sure about your child’s paternity and then…ugh. You already know.

4. Treat everyone fairly

By treating everyone fairly, you must have self-respect also. The games that people play with the opposite sex can have dire consequences. For example, exchanging phone numbers in public while your date is present is just plain tacky.

5. If you want to have a serious/monogamous relationship, break it off with the other partners

If you’re engaging in intimacy with one person, you’re setting yourself up for emotional, sexual and physical attachment. Not every relationship will endure, but you may develop feelings for one person that lead to a serious relationship. Sometimes it happens unexpectedly when you have a strong connection with a person, and then decide that it’s best to remain committed after all. While rejection is hard, its better to tell each partner the truth.

6. Don’t provide too much detail, and keep each union separate

Keep each union separate and try not to mix up their names because that will surely bring drama. You don’t have to give every person a complete rundown of every guy you’re seeing, but the least you can do is let each person know that he is not the only person you date. Do not offer up names or any other identifying information. They don’t need to know everything.

7. Limit your time between each person and don’t push for anything too serious

Keeping up with multiple partners can be a challenge, especially if they each bring their own set of character traits (and flaws) to the table. The allure of casual dating is never as perfect as it seems, where much of it is spent trying to make each person happy. One may feel alienated because you’ve been spending less time with them. If you want to proceed with these engagements, you must limit your time wisely (see him or her about every two weeks or so), and keep it neutral as possible.

8. Eliminate the toxic individuals from the picture

The most seminal part of having many partners is knowing where to draw the line. Before getting involved, ask yourself what you can and cannot tolerate in that person. Can you handle someone with a pessimistic attitude or a lack of ambition? You don’t want to open yourself up to toxic individuals who are jealous, manipulative or unstable because they use it as a ploy for attention. They might attack people in your inner circle or trap you for various reasons. Detecting this behavior early on prevents it from crossing over into the dating phase.

 

Are you a woman who dates multiple men at the same time? Any stories worth sharing? Do tell!

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