Are You Afraid To Ask For Your Money?

January 4, 2016  |  

Afraid To Ask For Your Money

Source: Bravo

If you watched the most recent episode of “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” you saw Todd Tucker confront Phaedra Parks about some money she owed him for helping to produce her workout DVD. Y’all remember Donkey Booty. Anyway, Todd presented her with receipts showing that the checks she had sent to him were canceled.

I’m sure it was a little embarrassing for Phaedra.

Some viewers who tuned into the show, didn’t take too kindly to Todd approaching Phaedra. They felt that he was only doing so because he was pressed for money and waited to confront Phaedra about it once Apollo had been hauled off to prison.

And, while I don’t watch the show, I saw the reaction and thought what does it matter when he asked for his money, it’s his. The mere fact that he has to ask for it at all says more about Phaedra than it does about him.

Kandi saw the reaction; and in defense of her husband, she provided some receipts and a bit of backstory on her Instagram page.

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In 2015 My husband @todd167 had 3 shows that he was executive producer on to air on 3 different networks. People lie but credits don't. Check the credits! We're trying to move past this petty bs about this workout DVD but it's always tough to watch the drama play out today over things we've supposedly worked out already. I just want to make things clear for people who are watching this episode of RHOA. My husband is great at what he does & he's been successful at it. People always talk shit on this show but I hate when they try to discredit him with lies. Let me just clear up something for y'all. Todd & Phaedra talked years ago when she was pregnant with Dylan about him helping her with production for her pregnancy DVD. He was doing it as a friend because he said they could do it way cheaper than the company she worked with on her 1st workout DVD. She approved the budget & she paid the first 2 payments but never paid the third for whatever reason. This was well before Apollo went to jail. Todd sent final invoice emails but there was just excuses & no payment. I told him not to worry about it & give her time. But now years have passed. You know how it is when you have a friend who owes you money but they come around with new shit all the time but never mentions your money… That's why he was irritated. So to everyone who is coming at us in the chat box saying my husband waited for her husband to go to jail to ask for his money as if he was scared to ask, that is absolutely not true. He's was asking long before. Just never got all his money. Simple…. And Todd was never being mean or disrespectful to her. He always remained cordial. The video was shot & finalized in 2013. She was suppose to give him the photo she wanted to put on the DVD menu & final payment back then…. It's 2016 people. I hope this gives y'all some clarity. #NoShade #AllFacts

A post shared by Kandi Burruss (@kandi) on

Well, well, well.

I’m a little biased toward Kandi. I’ve always liked her the most because she seemed to be the most honest and would own up to her mistakes if need be. That being said, it doesn’t seem like she’d lie about Phaedra not paying Todd from nearly three years ago. If she had, there would be no need to present receipts on cable television. But sometimes folks have to be embarrassed in order to do the right thing, especially people who are overly concerned with status and appearances.

But Phaedra, Kandi and Todd aside, money is a sensitive subject. And I wondered if some of you have ever had to return to a close friend or family member to ask for the money you lent them. If you’re anything like me, it’s generally not a pleasant experience. There’s something so frustrating about attempting to hold a grown person accountable. Trying to show someone how to be a man or woman of their word is something he or she should have learned during childhood. And the possibility of insinuating something about a person’s morals and values, in asking for your own money, could offend someone you care about. And you obviously care about them otherwise you wouldn’t have loaned them money.

I’ve noticed that men have an easier time asking for their money than women do. In this and many other societies, women are conditioned to please, while men are commended and rewarded for speaking plainly, no matter whose feelings get hurt in the process. I once watched a man I was dating ask his roommate for his half of the rent, in front of me. He wasn’t rude about it. But I was amazed at the fact he’d done it so casually, and in front of me no less.  Shouldn’t that conversation have happened in private? Apparently, that wasn’t necessary. And within minutes, he had his money.

The only example I have of a woman getting assertive when someone owed her money, was my grandmother. Apparently, she loaned my aunt some money and when she hadn’t paid it back, after being repeatedly asked for it, my grandmother took her to small claims court. Harsh, right? Well, she got her money. And though I’m sure their relationship might have been strained for a while after, they eventually came back together.

And I think that’s the point. If the relationship is strong enough, it’ll be able to withstand you asking for your own money back. Anybody who would look at you crazy for you trying to get what you’re owed, probably wasn’t down for you in the first place.

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