Waiting for the ring can feel like torture to some women. And while we’re often advised against giving ultimatums and setting deadlines, some feel that this is the only way to go from Miss to Mrs. Apparently, the holiday season caused one 28-year-old woman to feel the itch, and she decided to give her boyfriend until June to ask for her hand in marriage. As you can probably guess, her boyfriend, who we’ll call “Keith,” isn’t too happy about this and turned to Reddit’s relationship message board for advice.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year now. So here is the background: I grew up in a really poor area, and was constantly made fun of for my race, and I got beaten up often. It ended up really stunting my emotional growth because even after I went to college, I was really shy and not confident. I would keep all my interactions with people short.
I got better over time, after I moved out of the poor regions, people and all were much nicer, and I started to become normal. I ended up only losing my v-card when I was 25. When I met my girlfriend, and I told her about my lack of experience she was surprised, because I look above average in looks (tall/good hair/good smile).
Apparently, Keith’s girlfriend feels that she’s a “practice” girlfriend and the only way that he can prove that she’s not is to marry her.
We started dating, and I guess the big clash was that she had slept around a lot. I didn’t really take it as an issue, ideally, I would have love to have done the same, but that’s life. She, on the other hand, didn’t really take this issue alright. She said that I am bound to leave her, for another girl or to sleep around.
She thinks that the only reason I am dating her is because I want “practice.” Throughout the whole relationship, she has been insecure because she doesn’t think she is pretty enough for me. What’s really amplified things is that I have gotten serious about my diet/workout regime. She finds me more attractive but thinks that this is throwing off the relationship even more. I don’t know what to do here, I care about her, and one of the reasons (not only), is so I can be more attractive to her.
She told me that she doesn’t want to waste her time when I go to upgrade for a hotter girl, so she told me that either we get married soon, or she is going to leave me. I first don’t like being pressured and controlled like this, and two, I don’t feel comfortable getting married this soon, I don’t think I have known her long enough.
Of course, it’s obvious that these two shouldn’t be married under these circumstances, but how should Keith handle this situation?
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